[ when he feels sylus' touch, he tries not to flinch. not because of some implicit sense of fear, but mostly because he's still doing his best to hold onto this grudge. even when he knows it's not like there's a reason to hold sylus to any sort of standards to begin with. though, maybe he does and that's kind of frightening in its own way.
but, probably not a frightening at how weird this is all getting.
when sylus draws his hand to his own neck, rafayel can only stare at him. ]
What, and let you feel better? No thanks.
[ his fingers just kind of brush against his neck, and feel around where his pulse would be. ]
[ First of all, he doesn't feel guilty about it. Why should he when Hien was going around eating people? So he had a moment of emotion, Rafayel was barely harmed.
If anything, it's impressive that his attempt was as weak and short-lived as it was. His heartache could've carried him to act beyond the logic that the Rafayel in front of him was guilty of no crime.
It hadn't. There was something in him that didn't want to see him in pain.
His head tilts, letting Rafayel's hand wander as it pleases, and he may see burn marks starting at the underside of his jaw and travelling down under his shirt. ]
[ using hien eating people as a guide of guilt... is probably where sylus is going wrong here. but, sadly rafayel doesn't know any better. as much as sylus may justify it in his head, without knowing it... rafayel himself is making just as many excuses. were his feelings hurt...? he isn't sure.
his trust didn't come easily, but ... did he trust sylus?
these are all questions he feels like he's on the cusp of having an answer to, and yet he may not have wanted to acknowledge any of this at all. it's also why he sort of lets his mind wander. silently letting his fingers trail over scarred skin, and even reach into the gap of his shirt without fully knowing it.
when he does, he looks back up at sylus. ]
Are you even trying to hide them? Instead of assumptions, it's more like you're screaming them out. I'm just having a hard time drowning out the noise.
[ Yes, Sylus has gone wrong, and isn't thinking about it normally at all. It was brief, and he was emotional. Did he expect that Sylus felt too much affection to ever bare his fangs at him?
His self-control is solid, unshakable the majority of time, but occasionally the wild thing that still lingers in his soul eeks out. ]
Isn't the noise from you changing the subject? You want to focus on me to avoid talking about yourself.
[ Tracing over his expression with his gaze, thoughtful. ]
so he does what any mature individual would do in this situation, and he splashes some water over at sylus. ]
You think you understand me, but you don't. [ rafayel's famous line...
normally, he's thinking this about miss bodyguard, but he isn't sure when he started thinking this about sylus too. but, surely there's no correlation... ] When I saw you, I was relieved. That's all. [ but, those emotions feel like a waste now, but he won't say that. ] I'm tired, so I won't spell it out for you.
[ The wetter you make him, the hotter he'll get...
Also, this is so funny. Sylus isn't sure that he understands him at all, actually, he's just making an informed observation. But if Rafayel is saying that... then perhaps he does? He knows that Rafayel is both passionate and moody, roundabout and a little self-sabotaging in the way he goes about getting what he wants—if he can admit that he wants it.
He knows that he's probably more dangerous than he lets on, and reserved with his affection, but in a way that's different from Sylus.
Despite all that, it is surprising when he looks at him, and sees what he thinks might be... hurt? He doesn't understand why he might feel that way, but it does soften the smile he wears into something less teasing and more gentle. ]
You're tired?
[ He also thinks it's funny that Rafayel is acting like this when Sylus is the one that returned beaten up and bleeding. How selfish... But he likes that part of him too. Souls filled to the brim with desire are the most appetizing, after all. ]
So the way I greeted you was disappointing. How should I have done it so that you'd be satisfied? [ Reaching out again, brushing his thumb against his bottom lip. ] Like this?
sylus' amusement is palpable, and so it's hard for rafayel to face him with anything less than annoyance. yet in spite of it, like sylus is thinking, he also realizes it's been a long day. perhaps, even longer for those who've just returned. but, as logical as it all could have been, rafayel was essentially an emotional individual. he felt deeply for what existed within his periphery, and that unfortunately extended to feelings of bitterness too. even if for all intents and purposes— he'd say he considers sylus no different than debris that happened to be brought in with the tides.
... okay, that might not be true, but the idea does make lift his mood just a little.
though, it seems to die out the second he feels sylus' thumb on his lips. there's a moment of deliberation. whether he leans into the touch, or pulls back. he decides to let it sit there. ] No, this is still too weak. Even your other greeting had more impact.
[ going to take sylus' thumb in his mouth for just a second, just enough for his teeth to graze against it. ]
[ OKAY that is a very rude thought, you punk. Calling him debris... Not that he has any clue.
All he knows is that Rafayel has decided to challenge him, but not in a way that lets any accidental honesty spill through. For a second, he contemplates pressing his thumb in further, eager to win this game of chicken.
But instead, he pulls his hand back, letting it rest against the rim of the tub. ]
I see. [ The amusement fades into something more thoughtful, like he's studying him. ] Out of consideration of your fatigue, I won't give you a repeat performance.
it's not even like he's won any real ground here, but rafayel decides to think of it as if he did. when sylus retracts his hand, he does just settle back into the bath water, doing his best not to let the tension in his shoulders and body show. ]
"Consideration." [ he repeats, before closing his eyes. ]
[ Rafayel can consider it a win... He's tired of sitting on the rim of the tub, and lets himself sink onto the floor, leaning back against the tub. Back support. ]
You ran away.
[ What was it that Rafayel said... That hunters are only interested in prey while it's running? ]
admittedly, he's never expected or wanted any apology. if he had to be honest, this is even better. it was almost like an unspoken agreement, or an implication of one. as if sylus was insinuating that he'd always follow him if he ran. not that rafayel even really thinks he ran (he did).
... and not that rafayel truly believes that's what sylus meant. ]
Spoken like a real hunter. Maybe you should change careers.
[ he reaches a hand out and gives sylus' shoulders a light touch. ]
But, for the record, I didn't run. Your chase may have been pointless.
[ That's such gay meta. And it's true, even if he doesn't realize. Sylus' attention isn't easy to earn, and he's never felt a desire to look anywhere other than the hunter. Even now, he misses her, wishes that she was here, that he could touch her...
Being here with Rafayel isn't a consolation, nor is it a distraction from his longing. That part of him is immutable and ever lasting.
His interest in Rafayel is something entirely new, perhaps similar in ways, but still entirely separate.
If he were to run, Sylus would find him. He's not one to let his treasures go. ]
No?
[ His head falls in the direction of Rafayel's hand, eye closed. ]
that said, rafayel does peek at sylus' back curiously, as if attempting to see through him. you know, even when he knows that's impossible. but, the second sylus finishes his sentence, he catches himself and he turns back away. ] Yeah, that has to be it.
At least, it's better than worrying about a certain someone. For one, Soo-Won is pretty considerate. He seems to think before he says things, tries new things with me, and... who knows. [ you started this, and rafayel isn't going to go out of his way to correct sylus. ]
[ Why isn't he surprised that Rafayel is running with this. You are using a dead man in this manner?
Not that Sylus cares.
He keeps his eyes closed, feeling the fatigue of the day catching up with him. It's nice to take a moment to rest... While listening to Rafayel yammer on. It feels cozy. ]
he pauses because it's clearly a half-truth, but thankfully he doesn't scramble for very long to come up with a response. ] He was interested in the ocean, and said he wanted to try walking on the shore together. [ he starts off, but admittedly...
he isn't sure where he was going with this.
idly he places a finger where sylus' hairline begins on the back of his neck.
he wonders if he was planning to take a nap here? ]
[ He is not going to take a nap here when there is a bed just in the other room, but he doesn't mind lounging here a moment. It's nostalgic, reminds him of when he would have to patch himself up in an unnamed bathroom after a long day.
He doesn't move when Rafayel puts the finger on his nape, but he doesn't tense up at the sudden contact either, remaining relaxed. ]
Sounds like he was just choosing easy answers to earn your affection. [ Walking on the beach? Predictable. Lame. ] He should've offered to go riding on a jet ski or play with a hoverboard if he really wanted to try something new.
[ Choose something more impressive if you want to make him jealous... ]
when sylus remains still, his finger continues, trailing up through his hair. he stops when he reaches the center of it, as if deciding whether to move left or right. ] Is that a problem? [ he gives a small huff. ]
When it comes to watersports, you do know you're talking to the expert, right? [ it's obvious? he'd win? why is it a competition now, who knows... but, he does shake his head, as if they're getting off topic. ] But, I'll keep that in mind next time. A flyboarding date does sound kinda fun.
[ They are getting off-topic. He still hasn't discerned what Rafayel wants, or whether he's still upset about the mild choking attempt that Sylus doesn't think is that big of a deal.
The petting is nice though. Almost like having his hair played with. ]
[ good, because he's going for the other ear next, giving it a light flick. ]
If that's how you want to interpret it. [ the real answer is, he isn't sure what he wanted? a warm welcome? validation for this strange connection they had? sylus was probably right in determining half his issue wasn't actually with sylus himself. ]
Of course, that doesn't mean I'm going to say yes.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Running where?
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[ ... ] Where you just happened to be. [ ...
he's feeling awkward, so he corrects himself: ] I said some guy, but I meant a stranger.
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Will hold on even if Rafayel tries to squirrel away, taking his hand and bringing it to Sylus' neck. ]
So. You want to get even?
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but, probably not a frightening at how weird this is all getting.
when sylus draws his hand to his own neck, rafayel can only stare at him. ]
What, and let you feel better? No thanks.
[ his fingers just kind of brush against his neck, and feel around where his pulse would be. ]
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[ First of all, he doesn't feel guilty about it. Why should he when Hien was going around eating people? So he had a moment of emotion, Rafayel was barely harmed.
If anything, it's impressive that his attempt was as weak and short-lived as it was. His heartache could've carried him to act beyond the logic that the Rafayel in front of him was guilty of no crime.
It hadn't. There was something in him that didn't want to see him in pain.
His head tilts, letting Rafayel's hand wander as it pleases, and he may see burn marks starting at the underside of his jaw and travelling down under his shirt. ]
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his trust didn't come easily, but ... did he trust sylus?
these are all questions he feels like he's on the cusp of having an answer to, and yet he may not have wanted to acknowledge any of this at all. it's also why he sort of lets his mind wander. silently letting his fingers trail over scarred skin, and even reach into the gap of his shirt without fully knowing it.
when he does, he looks back up at sylus. ]
Are you even trying to hide them? Instead of assumptions, it's more like you're screaming them out. I'm just having a hard time drowning out the noise.
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His self-control is solid, unshakable the majority of time, but occasionally the wild thing that still lingers in his soul eeks out. ]
Isn't the noise from you changing the subject? You want to focus on me to avoid talking about yourself.
[ Tracing over his expression with his gaze, thoughtful. ]
There's something you don't want to face.
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so he does what any mature individual would do in this situation, and he splashes some water over at sylus. ]
You think you understand me, but you don't. [ rafayel's famous line...
normally, he's thinking this about miss bodyguard, but he isn't sure when he started thinking this about sylus too. but, surely there's no correlation... ] When I saw you, I was relieved. That's all. [ but, those emotions feel like a waste now, but he won't say that. ] I'm tired, so I won't spell it out for you.
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Also, this is so funny. Sylus isn't sure that he understands him at all, actually, he's just making an informed observation. But if Rafayel is saying that... then perhaps he does? He knows that Rafayel is both passionate and moody, roundabout and a little self-sabotaging in the way he goes about getting what he wants—if he can admit that he wants it.
He knows that he's probably more dangerous than he lets on, and reserved with his affection, but in a way that's different from Sylus.
Despite all that, it is surprising when he looks at him, and sees what he thinks might be... hurt? He doesn't understand why he might feel that way, but it does soften the smile he wears into something less teasing and more gentle. ]
You're tired?
[ He also thinks it's funny that Rafayel is acting like this when Sylus is the one that returned beaten up and bleeding. How selfish... But he likes that part of him too. Souls filled to the brim with desire are the most appetizing, after all. ]
So the way I greeted you was disappointing. How should I have done it so that you'd be satisfied? [ Reaching out again, brushing his thumb against his bottom lip. ] Like this?
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sylus' amusement is palpable, and so it's hard for rafayel to face him with anything less than annoyance. yet in spite of it, like sylus is thinking, he also realizes it's been a long day. perhaps, even longer for those who've just returned. but, as logical as it all could have been, rafayel was essentially an emotional individual. he felt deeply for what existed within his periphery, and that unfortunately extended to feelings of bitterness too. even if for all intents and purposes— he'd say he considers sylus no different than debris that happened to be brought in with the tides.
... okay, that might not be true, but the idea does make lift his mood just a little.
though, it seems to die out the second he feels sylus' thumb on his lips. there's a moment of deliberation. whether he leans into the touch, or pulls back. he decides to let it sit there. ] No, this is still too weak. Even your other greeting had more impact.
[ going to take sylus' thumb in his mouth for just a second, just enough for his teeth to graze against it. ]
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All he knows is that Rafayel has decided to challenge him, but not in a way that lets any accidental honesty spill through. For a second, he contemplates pressing his thumb in further, eager to win this game of chicken.
But instead, he pulls his hand back, letting it rest against the rim of the tub. ]
I see. [ The amusement fades into something more thoughtful, like he's studying him. ] Out of consideration of your fatigue, I won't give you a repeat performance.
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it's not even like he's won any real ground here, but rafayel decides to think of it as if he did. when sylus retracts his hand, he does just settle back into the bath water, doing his best not to let the tension in his shoulders and body show. ]
"Consideration." [ he repeats, before closing his eyes. ]
So, why'd you come looking for me?
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You ran away.
[ What was it that Rafayel said... That hunters are only interested in prey while it's running? ]
I assumed you wanted me to follow you.
[ Not like he cares or anything, idiot. ]
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admittedly, he's never expected or wanted any apology. if he had to be honest, this is even better. it was almost like an unspoken agreement, or an implication of one. as if sylus was insinuating that he'd always follow him if he ran. not that rafayel even really thinks he ran (he did).
... and not that rafayel truly believes that's what sylus meant. ]
Spoken like a real hunter. Maybe you should change careers.
[ he reaches a hand out and gives sylus' shoulders a light touch. ]
But, for the record, I didn't run. Your chase may have been pointless.
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Being here with Rafayel isn't a consolation, nor is it a distraction from his longing. That part of him is immutable and ever lasting.
His interest in Rafayel is something entirely new, perhaps similar in ways, but still entirely separate.
If he were to run, Sylus would find him. He's not one to let his treasures go. ]
No?
[ His head falls in the direction of Rafayel's hand, eye closed. ]
Were you just that emotional over Soo-Won?
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that said, rafayel does peek at sylus' back curiously, as if attempting to see through him. you know, even when he knows that's impossible. but, the second sylus finishes his sentence, he catches himself and he turns back away. ] Yeah, that has to be it.
At least, it's better than worrying about a certain someone. For one, Soo-Won is pretty considerate. He seems to think before he says things, tries new things with me, and... who knows. [ you started this, and rafayel isn't going to go out of his way to correct sylus. ]
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Not that Sylus cares.
He keeps his eyes closed, feeling the fatigue of the day catching up with him. It's nice to take a moment to rest... While listening to Rafayel yammer on. It feels cozy. ]
Tries new things? Like what?
[ Hmmm? ]
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he pauses because it's clearly a half-truth, but thankfully he doesn't scramble for very long to come up with a response. ] He was interested in the ocean, and said he wanted to try walking on the shore together. [ he starts off, but admittedly...
he isn't sure where he was going with this.
idly he places a finger where sylus' hairline begins on the back of his neck.
he wonders if he was planning to take a nap here? ]
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He doesn't move when Rafayel puts the finger on his nape, but he doesn't tense up at the sudden contact either, remaining relaxed. ]
Sounds like he was just choosing easy answers to earn your affection. [ Walking on the beach? Predictable. Lame. ] He should've offered to go riding on a jet ski or play with a hoverboard if he really wanted to try something new.
[ Choose something more impressive if you want to make him jealous... ]
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when sylus remains still, his finger continues, trailing up through his hair. he stops when he reaches the center of it, as if deciding whether to move left or right. ] Is that a problem? [ he gives a small huff. ]
When it comes to watersports, you do know you're talking to the expert, right? [ it's obvious? he'd win? why is it a competition now, who knows... but, he does shake his head, as if they're getting off topic. ] But, I'll keep that in mind next time. A flyboarding date does sound kinda fun.
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The petting is nice though. Almost like having his hair played with. ]
For your date with Soo-Won.
[ lol ]
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You want me to go on a date that badly?
[ he shrugs. ]
Then you should consider working up the courage to ask me yourself.
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Is that what you wanted when we all returned? For me to ask you on a date?
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If that's how you want to interpret it. [ the real answer is, he isn't sure what he wanted? a warm welcome? validation for this strange connection they had? sylus was probably right in determining half his issue wasn't actually with sylus himself. ]
Of course, that doesn't mean I'm going to say yes.