maybe it won't show tobari that rafayel is a murderer, thank.
when they get to the lakes surface and a vision first comes in view— it will mostly be filled with rafayel's mundane life. little snippets of them cast in the ripples beyond the surface, and eventually they'll be led to a larger memory. this memory encapsulates them and almost makes it feel like they've been transported to rafayel's private island. they'll be in the middle of his studio. there are several artworks that are still in the process of being completed, and the home is decorated lavishly. tobari will note that there are several large floor to window ceilings, and directly off to the side is a vast balcony that leads to a walkway to the shore.
the ocean almost looks like it's welcoming them. the surface of the water glimmers like jewels, and even the seagulls seem to be actively greeting them. for reason though, tobari will feel like he has eyes on him, and rafayel will be there, his fingers like a viewfinder, pretending like he's taking a picture of him. ]
Wanna check out the beach? [ in terms of emotions, tobari can probably feel rafayel's excitement. but, also a bit of nostalgia. he hasn't been away for very long, but it definitely feels like ( rafayel voice ) it's been 800 years.
it's enough for him to temporarily forget the heavier topic they've touched on before arriving here. ]
[ wow what if he wants to know now if rafayel is a murderer
just kidding, tobari really meant it when he said he'd accept literally anything rafayel showed him. if anything, knowing that raf lives in this level of luxury and opulence is actually far more foreign to tobari than anything else. even though the red light district is made of glamour and beauty, most of it is just a cover-up for the hard life of its occupants. this studio and home feels genuine in its splendor, and he can't help but admire it—even if his gaze does linger on the paintings more than anything else once he puts together that they're rafayel's works.
he'll turn to rafayel once spoken to, and his smile comes a little easier, coaxed by the openness in rafayel's emotions. tobari's own just reflect a little bit of his awe, some of his fondness. ]
Isn't that what we're here for? Lead the way.
[ he'll follow after, even though he almost gets a sense that this might be just as much for raf as it is for him ]
rafayel reminds himself to keep focused for tobari's sake. the actual ocean. whitesand bay is every bit the beaches you see in catalogues. it said to be nicest beach in linkon city. while rafayel doesn't know if matches up that bold title— the ocean would always hold a special place within him. all creatures born of the sea inevitably return to it. all beings born from the ocean waves will forever yearn for the lull and tranquility beneath the tides. ... and, the idea of it being "home" doesn't ever change.
while the girl in his memories isn't there, he is glad to a familiar face with him too. it's a contrast to the lonely days he's spent traversing this same strip of shoreline. every couple of steps, he'll look back to tobari. rafayel is already casting off his shoes to wade around in the shallows. the sea is not only picturesque, but incredibly calm. the scent of salt water is sharp on the nose, and yet even that feels really familiar. ] You're not scared of the water, right?
but maybe not here at the beach where it is so peaceful and nice? it's even nicer than the one that obikawa summoned up at random, and tobari sort of just copies rafayel's own motions to toe off his boots and leave it behind with his socks stuffed in them. even if rafayel looks back to make sure he's following—he is, even though his gaze is largely trained on the ocean itself with a quiet, admiring type of awe.
tobari has seen a lake in the abyss, but it's too toxic to casually swim in. clean water itself is hard to come by in itehari. the idea of just being able to wade right into the ocean astounds him and his emotions reflect that so easily. astonishment, reverence, and even a not-so-small amount of gratitude. it's the type of sight he never thought he'd be able to see in his life.
rafayel's question brings him back to earth and even as he's following into the water without much concern, ]
No, but I never got the chance to learn how to swim.
[ but it still doesn't occur to him to be afraid. he's busy watching the waves come in and wash over the shore ]
he's accustomed to having his eyes trained to watch over a certain figure in the distance. counting the steps between them. even now, he had a number figure in his head, as he looks at tobari, and it's a bittersweet sensation. but, what's stronger is the feeling like tobari seems to stare at the ocean with such reverence and deep admiration. ]
Don't stray out past that rock there, [ he makes a vague gesture, his lips curling into a small smile. ] and you should be fine. The ocean is calmest at this hour and season. [ he says idly, as he gives tobari some space to just explore. see. feel. when he does end up breaking the silence— ]
[ HE'S JUST FOLLOWING RAFAYEL'S LEAD enough with the feet
when the safe point is indicated, tobari will glance in that direction and mentally note it, nodding. in that case, that means he'll wade in pretty much up until that point exactly, idly kicking at the waves just to note the sensation and the feeling of the sea breeze. for a second he just looks around like he's committing this to memory, laughing when rafayel makes that comment. ]
Sorry, but gods and worship haven't done much for me in the past. [ historically, tobari is actually more of a heretic in itehari. but that's because the taijuu really... doesn't do much. this is still a hilarious thing to say to rafayel.
still, when another warm, seasalty breeze passes by them both, tussling their hair, he takes a big inhale and hums ] But I can see how a sight like this could make someone believe in divinity.
[ how it'd be nice to have something to believe in ]
[ yeah and raf is a fish who technically can do without feet so?
rafayel wonders which detail tickles him the most? the sand between his toes, the chill of the sea that intermingles with the frigid currents from the north at around this time. he probably should have considered that beforehand, but surely... this is just a memory.
when tobari speaks, he listens quietly. ] I think I get what you mean. Gods can't solve most issues. Unlike what people think, they're also victims of fate, and their powers are flimsy and unreliable at best. [ ... ]
But, I do think they still hear prayers from time to time, and maybe they blow a small gust in your direction, or... [ rafayel lifts his hand briefly into the air, and a seagull perches on top of it. ] Besides, you already got your wish granted.
[ what is up with all these incredibly chill seagulls... obikawa had one, too... tobari is going to be misled to believe that they are all completely chill and docile creatures and not feathery monsters who'll attack you for hot dog
also this is funny because he's just looking at raf like ??? ]
Are you trying to get me to pray to you?
[ HE DID GET A MIRACLE.... HE'S STILL NOT SURE HOW TO SHOW THANKS... FOR SOME REASON DEFERENCE ALSO STILL DOESN'T OCCUR TO HIM.... ]
[ can this please happen before end game... i need a seagull to greedily steal all his food and subvert all his opinions on them. jk, maybe here he can see a seagull who snatched a pizza from someone, flying in the distance. except this is a private island so where are they flying this pizza to? a mystery...
[ if he has foresight to realize that raf could stand to get more annoying then why wouldn't he prevent it? hello?
tobari has never been around water before but it's such an innate instinct to kick water at someone being irritating, which he does now (tobari was annoying first) maybe so ]
... well, I did say that I'm not the type of person who's ungrateful.
[ which is why he'll reach out to catch rafayel's hand in his own after a second ]
You saved my life. There's no other way to see it.
I'll probably never be able to properly repay you, but if there's something you ever want that I can give, just name it. The list of things I wouldn't do for you is short. Not really as offerings to a god or a savior but—just to you.
[ his friend. even if friend somehow feels way too casual for the appreciation that tobari feels. ]
So I can only hope that you find something that'll make you happy with that compass, reach it, and keep it for the rest of your life—'cause I'll just wish we had more time and remember you for the rest of mine, because that's still time you gave me.
If you want more straightforward praise, I guess there's more I can say. [ he's actually not shy about complimenting people once he likes them enough ] But I thought I'd get what I actually think out of the way first.
[ considering the first sentence out of tobari's mouth, rafayel doesn't end up expecting the rest. including, the way he so effortlessly reaches to grab hold of his hand. he can't help but for his eyes to travel to their joined hands, and he returns the gesture with a slight squeeze, like greeting an old friend.
maybe being by the ocean, even if all an illusion was enough for this feeling of nostalgia to kick in. honestly, the more tobari speaks, the less rafayel is convinced he's someone he's just met weeks ago, and he feels the weight of this unspoken connection. ]
Even if I do, I have a feeling it might be something I shouldn't have. [ though, he'll always value the feelings behind the gesture. even now, the compass in his pocket acts more of a reminder of that, and his desire to press forward. tobari at least gave him strength to believe in that. ] But, I'll accept just your feelings. To be honest, I think I'll also miss this. Maybe months from now, I'll think back to this moment, and... [ the clear communication. the easy way in which they could just speak their mind. having someone who says they're in his corner. ]
But, huh... you still had that many more wishes?
[ he cocks his head to the side in the way he always does, his tone of voice light and almost teasing. ] Then can you grant mine first?
[ for the record the very first thing out of tobari's mouth is almost immediately 'are you stupid?' but he barely holds back because rafayel's request seems sincere
but he does internally have a moment where he's like rafayel... are you... dumb.>??? ]
... you're seriously asking...
[ he shakes his head in disbelief for a second, but he'll just hold onto rafayel's hand tighter, as if that'll make this easier for him to understand. ]
I wasn't going to bother explaining this but... I asked for your favorite drink so I could knock back the vial at the same time, so I wouldn't forget who gave me this chance. [ so every time he has a taste of strawberry or apparently cheese (probably just desserts in general) he'll remember today ] I wanted to see your ocean so that if I ever do make it to another, then I'll just compare it to yours.
[ well. and also obikawa's. but rafayel's is already better. ]
My life is a series of gathering pieces of people to hold onto, long after they're gone. [ because people in the abyss die young and people in the red light district die early, so tobari is familiar with the practice of remembrance ] Your art, your sea, all the things you love and have loved and all the ways you annoy the shit out of me—
it's true. rafayel is entirely sincere in his request. call it experience. call it being burned. but, he knows even people's recollections and being a part of their memories moving forward isn't always a given. which is why, even if it seems ridiculous to tobari, rafayel himself can't help but give a weak sort of smile back. ]
I know. I know it's not like you'd ever forget on purpose, but if there ever was an instance you could forget, I'd like if you held onto these moments the best you can. Or so I say, but I'd also like it if you could move on from all the hardship in your past. That you really find your own anchor, and achieve peace. It'd also be good if you didn't neglect yourself. In this new life, even if you can't put yourself first, you should at least aim for second. Oh, and maybe you can start a nice hobby too.
[ he pauses, before he gently loosens his grip, letting tobari's hold be the one to dictate the length of their connection. in a way, it might have been his own symbol, his own way of feeling a relationship where he isn't the only one holding on.
despite his yapping, he does end up stopping to say one thing— ]
Thanks. [ ... and he means it. even if he doesn't verbalize a promise back, he thinks this will also be an easy moment to look back on. the sea remembers all, and somewhere within its depths, he'll come back to this moment again, and maybe in those moments he can allow himself a short reprieve from his nightmares. ]
[ okay this time he can't really help it, though he at least mumbles it under his breath: ] ... you really are kind of an idiot. It sounds like you have more wishes for my life than I do.
[ rafayel loosens his grip—but tobari just adjusts the hold of their hands, letting their fingers intertwine before he squeezes once. it's not out of some grand romantic gesture—even if he's not so stupid that he can't understand how it might be misconstrued—but to solidify what he says next ]
There hasn't been a second with you that I'd call a hardship. Not in any real way. [ rafayel is annoying as hell on purpose sometimes, but terribly, tobari accepts even those moments with him. maybe tobari is the one to blame... ] I'm not sure what the future holds or if I can promise any of the rest, but I'll at least take care of this life since you're the one who gave it to me.
[ does this bode well for tobari's ability to put himself first. not really. it's fine. he'll keep walking along the shore anyway, just bringing rafayel along with him. ]
I'm not going to forget you, Raf. I don't see how I could. If you're that worried about it, then I'll keep saying it until you believe me.
rafayel heard that and it's there's like a one second moment in which he just staaaares at tobari. but, he does end up shrugging his shoulders. as a sea god, he should be merciful at times and forgive these transgressions. even if the thought of that is goofy, so he can't help but chuckle a little to himself. (he thinks he's funny)
the only thing that dispels these thoughts is the way tobari is already tugging him along with him. ] You're so pushy. [ but, he clearly doesn't seem bothered by it as he follows right along. he doesn't misconstrue the gesture if just because he knows they both have people they can call entirely their own. even if rafayel does feel weird when there's more than one person he imagines for just a second. but, his point still stands. ]
But, how about you try saying it three times in a row and I'll see how I feel then? [ a joke, but he really is happy at the effort. he uses his free hand to fix his hair that's getting blown around by the wind. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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... like I said, I don't scare easy.
[ that's as gently as he can say 'so what?' it's not without his own curiosity, wondering what could drive rafayel to do that if it's true, but.
well.
tobari tries not to be a hypocrite.
do you want to fastforward to lake, bijou.... give me mem...... holds hands out politely ]
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maybe it won't show tobari that rafayel is a murderer, thank.
when they get to the lakes surface and a vision first comes in view— it will mostly be filled with rafayel's mundane life. little snippets of them cast in the ripples beyond the surface, and eventually they'll be led to a larger memory. this memory encapsulates them and almost makes it feel like they've been transported to rafayel's private island. they'll be in the middle of his studio. there are several artworks that are still in the process of being completed, and the home is decorated lavishly. tobari will note that there are several large floor to window ceilings, and directly off to the side is a vast balcony that leads to a walkway to the shore.
the ocean almost looks like it's welcoming them. the surface of the water glimmers like jewels, and even the seagulls seem to be actively greeting them. for reason though, tobari will feel like he has eyes on him, and rafayel will be there, his fingers like a viewfinder, pretending like he's taking a picture of him. ]
Wanna check out the beach? [ in terms of emotions, tobari can probably feel rafayel's excitement. but, also a bit of nostalgia. he hasn't been away for very long, but it definitely feels like ( rafayel voice ) it's been 800 years.
it's enough for him to temporarily forget the heavier topic they've touched on before arriving here. ]
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just kidding, tobari really meant it when he said he'd accept literally anything rafayel showed him. if anything, knowing that raf lives in this level of luxury and opulence is actually far more foreign to tobari than anything else. even though the red light district is made of glamour and beauty, most of it is just a cover-up for the hard life of its occupants. this studio and home feels genuine in its splendor, and he can't help but admire it—even if his gaze does linger on the paintings more than anything else once he puts together that they're rafayel's works.
he'll turn to rafayel once spoken to, and his smile comes a little easier, coaxed by the openness in rafayel's emotions. tobari's own just reflect a little bit of his awe, some of his fondness. ]
Isn't that what we're here for? Lead the way.
[ he'll follow after, even though he almost gets a sense that this might be just as much for raf as it is for him ]
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rafayel reminds himself to keep focused for tobari's sake. the actual ocean. whitesand bay is every bit the beaches you see in catalogues. it said to be nicest beach in linkon city. while rafayel doesn't know if matches up that bold title— the ocean would always hold a special place within him. all creatures born of the sea inevitably return to it. all beings born from the ocean waves will forever yearn for the lull and tranquility beneath the tides. ... and, the idea of it being "home" doesn't ever change.
while the girl in his memories isn't there, he is glad to a familiar face with him too. it's a contrast to the lonely days he's spent traversing this same strip of shoreline. every couple of steps, he'll look back to tobari. rafayel is already casting off his shoes to wade around in the shallows. the sea is not only picturesque, but incredibly calm. the scent of salt water is sharp on the nose, and yet even that feels really familiar. ] You're not scared of the water, right?
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but maybe not here at the beach where it is so peaceful and nice? it's even nicer than the one that obikawa summoned up at random, and tobari sort of just copies rafayel's own motions to toe off his boots and leave it behind with his socks stuffed in them. even if rafayel looks back to make sure he's following—he is, even though his gaze is largely trained on the ocean itself with a quiet, admiring type of awe.
tobari has seen a lake in the abyss, but it's too toxic to casually swim in. clean water itself is hard to come by in itehari. the idea of just being able to wade right into the ocean astounds him and his emotions reflect that so easily. astonishment, reverence, and even a not-so-small amount of gratitude. it's the type of sight he never thought he'd be able to see in his life.
rafayel's question brings him back to earth and even as he's following into the water without much concern, ]
No, but I never got the chance to learn how to swim.
[ but it still doesn't occur to him to be afraid. he's busy watching the waves come in and wash over the shore ]
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he's accustomed to having his eyes trained to watch over a certain figure in the distance. counting the steps between them. even now, he had a number figure in his head, as he looks at tobari, and it's a bittersweet sensation. but, what's stronger is the feeling like tobari seems to stare at the ocean with such reverence and deep admiration. ]
Don't stray out past that rock there, [ he makes a vague gesture, his lips curling into a small smile. ] and you should be fine. The ocean is calmest at this hour and season. [ he says idly, as he gives tobari some space to just explore. see. feel. when he does end up breaking the silence— ]
You look like a worshipper at an altar.
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when the safe point is indicated, tobari will glance in that direction and mentally note it, nodding. in that case, that means he'll wade in pretty much up until that point exactly, idly kicking at the waves just to note the sensation and the feeling of the sea breeze. for a second he just looks around like he's committing this to memory, laughing when rafayel makes that comment. ]
Sorry, but gods and worship haven't done much for me in the past. [ historically, tobari is actually more of a heretic in itehari. but that's because the taijuu really... doesn't do much. this is still a hilarious thing to say to rafayel.
still, when another warm, seasalty breeze passes by them both, tussling their hair, he takes a big inhale and hums ] But I can see how a sight like this could make someone believe in divinity.
[ how it'd be nice to have something to believe in ]
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rafayel wonders which detail tickles him the most? the sand between his toes, the chill of the sea that intermingles with the frigid currents from the north at around this time. he probably should have considered that beforehand, but surely... this is just a memory.
when tobari speaks, he listens quietly. ] I think I get what you mean. Gods can't solve most issues. Unlike what people think, they're also victims of fate, and their powers are flimsy and unreliable at best. [ ... ]
But, I do think they still hear prayers from time to time, and maybe they blow a small gust in your direction, or... [ rafayel lifts his hand briefly into the air, and a seagull perches on top of it. ] Besides, you already got your wish granted.
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also this is funny because he's just looking at raf like ??? ]
Are you trying to get me to pray to you?
[ HE DID GET A MIRACLE.... HE'S STILL NOT SURE HOW TO SHOW THANKS... FOR SOME REASON DEFERENCE ALSO STILL DOESN'T OCCUR TO HIM.... ]
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also... when tobari looks at him??? ]
A bit of praise never hurt anyone?
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I'm worried I'm going to start spoiling you...
[ his expression is so serious and deliberating but emotionshare does give away that he's playing around. just teasing ]
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which is also him playing around, but— ]
Isn't that something you should worry about after I've been spoiled rotten?
[1/2]
[ if he has foresight to realize that raf could stand to get more annoying then why wouldn't he prevent it? hello?
tobari has never been around water before but it's such an innate instinct to kick water at someone being irritating, which he does now (tobari was annoying first) maybe so ]
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[ which is why he'll reach out to catch rafayel's hand in his own after a second ]
You saved my life. There's no other way to see it.
I'll probably never be able to properly repay you, but if there's something you ever want that I can give, just name it. The list of things I wouldn't do for you is short. Not really as offerings to a god or a savior but—just to you.
[ his friend. even if friend somehow feels way too casual for the appreciation that tobari feels. ]
So I can only hope that you find something that'll make you happy with that compass, reach it, and keep it for the rest of your life—'cause I'll just wish we had more time and remember you for the rest of mine, because that's still time you gave me.
If you want more straightforward praise, I guess there's more I can say. [ he's actually not shy about complimenting people once he likes them enough ] But I thought I'd get what I actually think out of the way first.
1/2
maybe being by the ocean, even if all an illusion was enough for this feeling of nostalgia to kick in. honestly, the more tobari speaks, the less rafayel is convinced he's someone he's just met weeks ago, and he feels the weight of this unspoken connection. ]
Even if I do, I have a feeling it might be something I shouldn't have. [ though, he'll always value the feelings behind the gesture. even now, the compass in his pocket acts more of a reminder of that, and his desire to press forward. tobari at least gave him strength to believe in that. ] But, I'll accept just your feelings. To be honest, I think I'll also miss this. Maybe months from now, I'll think back to this moment, and... [ the clear communication. the easy way in which they could just speak their mind. having someone who says they're in his corner. ]
But, huh... you still had that many more wishes?
[ he cocks his head to the side in the way he always does, his tone of voice light and almost teasing. ] Then can you grant mine first?
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[ but, also...
he still wants his compliments. ]
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but he does internally have a moment where he's like rafayel... are you... dumb.>??? ]
... you're seriously asking...
[ he shakes his head in disbelief for a second, but he'll just hold onto rafayel's hand tighter, as if that'll make this easier for him to understand. ]
I wasn't going to bother explaining this but... I asked for your favorite drink so I could knock back the vial at the same time, so I wouldn't forget who gave me this chance. [ so every time he has a taste of strawberry or apparently cheese (probably just desserts in general) he'll remember today ] I wanted to see your ocean so that if I ever do make it to another, then I'll just compare it to yours.
[ well. and also obikawa's. but rafayel's is already better. ]
My life is a series of gathering pieces of people to hold onto, long after they're gone. [ because people in the abyss die young and people in the red light district die early, so tobari is familiar with the practice of remembrance ] Your art, your sea, all the things you love and have loved and all the ways you annoy the shit out of me—
I won't forget. That's an easy promise to make.
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it's true. rafayel is entirely sincere in his request. call it experience. call it being burned. but, he knows even people's recollections and being a part of their memories moving forward isn't always a given. which is why, even if it seems ridiculous to tobari, rafayel himself can't help but give a weak sort of smile back. ]
I know. I know it's not like you'd ever forget on purpose, but if there ever was an instance you could forget, I'd like if you held onto these moments the best you can. Or so I say, but I'd also like it if you could move on from all the hardship in your past. That you really find your own anchor, and achieve peace. It'd also be good if you didn't neglect yourself. In this new life, even if you can't put yourself first, you should at least aim for second. Oh, and maybe you can start a nice hobby too.
[ he pauses, before he gently loosens his grip, letting tobari's hold be the one to dictate the length of their connection. in a way, it might have been his own symbol, his own way of feeling a relationship where he isn't the only one holding on.
despite his yapping, he does end up stopping to say one thing— ]
Thanks. [ ... and he means it. even if he doesn't verbalize a promise back, he thinks this will also be an easy moment to look back on. the sea remembers all, and somewhere within its depths, he'll come back to this moment again, and maybe in those moments he can allow himself a short reprieve from his nightmares. ]
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[ rafayel loosens his grip—but tobari just adjusts the hold of their hands, letting their fingers intertwine before he squeezes once. it's not out of some grand romantic gesture—even if he's not so stupid that he can't understand how it might be misconstrued—but to solidify what he says next ]
There hasn't been a second with you that I'd call a hardship. Not in any real way. [ rafayel is annoying as hell on purpose sometimes, but terribly, tobari accepts even those moments with him. maybe tobari is the one to blame... ] I'm not sure what the future holds or if I can promise any of the rest, but I'll at least take care of this life since you're the one who gave it to me.
[ does this bode well for tobari's ability to put himself first. not really. it's fine. he'll keep walking along the shore anyway, just bringing rafayel along with him. ]
I'm not going to forget you, Raf. I don't see how I could. If you're that worried about it, then I'll keep saying it until you believe me.
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rafayel heard that and it's there's like a one second moment in which he just staaaares at tobari. but, he does end up shrugging his shoulders. as a sea god, he should be merciful at times and forgive these transgressions. even if the thought of that is goofy, so he can't help but chuckle a little to himself. (he thinks he's funny)
the only thing that dispels these thoughts is the way tobari is already tugging him along with him. ] You're so pushy. [ but, he clearly doesn't seem bothered by it as he follows right along. he doesn't misconstrue the gesture if just because he knows they both have people they can call entirely their own. even if rafayel does feel weird when there's more than one person he imagines for just a second. but, his point still stands. ]
But, how about you try saying it three times in a row and I'll see how I feel then? [ a joke, but he really is happy at the effort. he uses his free hand to fix his hair that's getting blown around by the wind. ]