[ it's the contrast that exists within tobari—someone who inherently doesn't trust people or have any faith in most of humanity, but also can't bring himself to abandon strangers or ignore people in need. he's not an optimist, but he's not a true cynic either. ]
... but that's true. People sometimes get too used to the status quo. They don't consider what life is like for people without certain luxuries, or they could suddenly become that person who never sees the ocean again...
[ but rafayel has probably heard him talk about this plenty during all his grumbling and mumbling about everything wrong with the world... he returns to his side anyway, taking his hand again. ]
... I still like it here. [ if he's being honest. ] Even if I wish I could've seen it as you knew it, too.
[ it may not be the first time he's heard tobari speak similarly on the topic, but it's an easy point to agree with each time. besides, the meaning feels a little deeper because tobari is human. but, he likes the part of him that never makes excuses, and he can tell it comes from a place of genuine appreciation for the natural world. ]
You're right. We live in a world that's sometimes colder than even the deepest depths of the ocean. [ ... he does give a small huff though. ] But, thanks for saying that you still like it.
If there is one thing that's better than before... [ as tobari returns to him, he also holds his hand tightly.
he then leans down and picks up a stray flower kicked up from the wind, and tucks it gently behind tobari's ear. ]
[ it's mystifying to him sometimes—but he knows rafayel is right. there is so much about the world that feels so broken. how could they manage to be more cruel and desolate than even the darkest pits of the ocean where it's all survival of the fittest and instinct?
though he's interrupted from those thoughts when there's a flower tucked behind his ear, and he just huffs out a breath of disbelief. ]
I'm not really sure that suits me...
[ he's not such a gentle person that he should get to be decorated with flowers, he thinks. but he accepts it, the same way he accepts anything and everything from rafayel. even this flower will get pressed in the pages of a book when they get home to preserve and keep. ]
But if I can add anything to make life easier for you, I'm glad.
It's pretty. [ he'd argue it suits tobari perfectly. the dab of pastel against tobari's otherwise high contrasting colors of red and black— it was captivating in its own way. even if by his next words, he does take on a more playful stance. ]
Easy... [ he smiles at that. ] I didn't say that.
[ he's half-kidding, but it's true that he'd like to think while it is easy to be together, there was, inevitably, the harder moments too. that wasn't to state that tobari himself gave him a hard time, but... listen, introducing tobari to vacations and work-life balance is no simple task. ]
You really don't think you're difficult, like ever?
[ there's a reason tobari's house keys are the one with the pufferfish on them...
but, that said, he likes even that about tobari. he'd like to think he's the only one who can handle him. though, in reality, rafayel is wrong because tobari is perfect. ]
[ he wonders if tobari holds back because of all that remains unsaid, or if it really was just him being indulgent per usual. it's hard to discern, but he supposed the emotions and care behind them doesn't really change either way.
so he easily falls back into step with tobari. ]
Silly. [ he wants to say he'll also be on best behavior, but that seemed ridiculous knowing what he has planned for tomorrow. ] I'll also be good for tonight. You'll get the full service, which also includes getting tucked in and one goodnight kiss.
rafayel opens his mouth, but ends up closing it. he swallows down his initial reaction of wanting to fold immediately, and instead adopts a fake show of nonchalance. ] Just one. [ he repeats with a bit more finality. ]
Hmmm. [ thoughtfully... indulgently... before he decides: ] No.
[ he doesn't need rafayel to fold now when he knows that it is inevitable... it's not as common for tobari to be as demanding of attention, but it's why he doubts he'll be denied on the rare occasion that it happens. rafayel is weak and tobari will play dirty if need be.
and maybe given all the talk of rafayel changing or being distant, it's why he wants to hold on a little bit tighter tonight. ]
[ his sudden show of stubbornness does end up making him exhale a little in humor. there's a bit more mirth in his eyes as opposed to how easily he would fall into his own thoughts earlier while they were cleaning. it's hard for him to remain in a mood when tobari was so obviously... needy tonight.
it really is rare, and he's right that there's no way that rafayel could ever truly deny him.
it's why he's already pulling tobari closer, and he leans in to give him a kiss on the lips. it's light at first, but he does go in for a second, and just barely stops himself from going in for a third. they've kissed so many times on this path that he isn't even sure if he remembers how lonely it used to be at all... ]
You're lucky. It looks like I already broke my own rule.
[ stop having it hang over his head that his boyfriend is being all ominous and cagey and talking like they're going to apart or he's going to become someone unforgivable... what the hell is he supposed to do with that...
tobari isn't prone to being demanding in this way, not really, but the idea of the one he loves being away from him makes something crawl so uncomfortably underneath his skin. something like anxiety, something like fear. it eases just a bit when rafayel pulls him closer and he lets his arms loop around his neck as he meets him for those kisses so easily. ]
Of course you would.
[ he's calling rafayel predictable and he's not even going to apologize for it ]
... but I am still lucky. [ he won't let them get melancholy again though, instead just claiming that third kiss for himself. though he bites lightly at rafayel's bottom lip even as he pulls away. ] And you are, too. This is still vacation. We're sleeping in tomorrow.
[ sorry if rafayel had something else planned—but tobari plans on keeping his lover close, even if it means having to literally sink his teeth into him ]
[ he guesses he deserves that. if being predictable is the cost of making the love of his life happy, then it's an easy price to pay. too cheap for all the strife he's probably put him through today. rafayel feels a little guilty knowing he may have unintentionally pushed tobari to his point...
but, even that seems to dissipate with the kiss tobari plants back on him. ] Those are dangerous words, you know. The big bad fish might gobble you up whole. [ he leans in and in a petty revenge he places his teeth on tobari's cheek.
[ something something a little bit of sharpness is most familiar to two people prone to acts of destruction, even if that destruction is done in the name of love
not unlike now
but tobari will pull away a bit at the bite, making a face even though he's not loosening his hold on rafayel himself ]
You're the last person [ or fish ] I'd think to be afraid of.
[ but he narrows his eyes, frowning ]
But you should face the consequences of what you started.
[ IT REALLY WAS RAF'S BEHAVIOR THAT'S GOTTEN TOBARI THIS RESTLESS... it's fine, he's decided that he will soothe his own nerves by simply demanding more affection and physical proof of that ties that bind them ]
We can head back, unless there's more stops on your tour.
but, he does give a small hint of a chuckle, though he does attempt to temper it with just a sly sort of smile. ] The consequences, huh? Does that mean you're the one who's gonna punish me? [ but, it's said lightheartedly, like he wasn't actually considering how this was probably his fault seconds ago. ]
No more stops. I told you what I wanted for dessert already, too.
[ tobari, not the dairy.
though, he really was thinking of letting him off easy tonight to just sleep, so? wow? the one time he tried to be good? ]
[ in comparison, tobari is just very certain when he responds with a small smile of his own and very plainly: ] Maybe I am.
[ but rafayel really thought that he would get an easy night to sleep after all these antics... tobari knows that it's probably unintentional and rafayel is in a strange headspace that makes him both distant and close all at once... but having any distance imposed at all is something that he's not comfortable with.
so that's probably why as soon as they make it back to where they're staying, he'll lock the door behind them and then immediately pin rafayel against it, catching his mouth in a searing kiss. no distance! no ominous things left unsaid! just kisses ]
[ there's a certain tension that peppers the air as a byproduct of their prior talk. this only seems to be made stranger by the sudden spark of competition it inevitably warped into. he isn't sure if he actually expects tobari to act on it, but it'd be a lie to say there's no anticipation from him.
as soon as they get back, he's about to shrug out of his more rigid dinner outfit, but then feels his back against the wall. as chatty as he normally is, all those words seem to elude him when tobari kisses him so fervently. it's that desperation again, and he can't help but become absorbed in it.
his hand comes up to caress the side of tobari's neck, and he meets him just as hungrily. when he pulls away, there's still some saliva on the corner of his lips. ] Hey, slow down. [ or else he won't be able to control himself. or so he's saying, but he's also pulling off tobari's tie now...
[ it really is nonstop lies... and foreboding half-truths... is it any wonder that tobari is acting out now... i mean he could probably control himself a little bit better but that's just frankly not in the cards.
especially since right after rafayel speaks, tobari closes the distance between them again with another kiss and rafayel can probably feel the curve of his mouth into a smirk already threatening to slip onto his lips. his next question is similarly murmured against rafayel's mouth. just one easy syllable: ]
Why?
[ what's the point in slowing down? they have all evening. even as one of tobari's hands is moving to unbutton raf's own shirt, and his other is tugging it up so curious fingers can already slip beneath the fabric to brush against bare skin. how badly he wants to confirm his lover's presence with every sense he has availability to him ]
[ if he knew he was going to be stripping him down like this, maybe he wouldn't have dressed him so immaculately, tie clip and all. while trying to remove it, he accidentally ends up dropping it on the floor, as well as his own bracelet.
he grabs tobari's disobedient hand that's now slipping into the gaps of fabric. there's blistering heat in the wake of his touches, and rafayel can already tell his heart is beating erratically in his chest. in moments like these, he really can't see anyone or anything else. but, maybe that's why in moments where they're this intimate, he feels so vulnerable.
he knows it (probably) isn't the last time, and yet he can't fight the thought of the possibility that it could be.
maybe that's why every one of his touches felt like their own way to reassure him. ... and in turn, rafayel also wants to put his mind at ease.
... and so, he firmly holds his hand in place as he uses the tie to wrap around tobari's wrist. then he tries grabbing his other hand. ] Because you're being bad. [ he says simply, but it's clear this is mostly all for show. how is tying him up going to put him at ease? great question.
he leans back in to breathe against the nape of tobari's neck. keeping his promise from earlier, his teeth settle onto his skin, clamping down just enough to be a little painful. ]
[ i was going to let this fade but i desperately need to understand rafayel's frame of mind on why tying up tobari is supposed to make him feel better so i guess we'll keep going for a bit because it's funny. what
truly, tobari only barely has the frame of mind to nudge the accessories away with his foot so that they don't accidentally step, break, or slip on them because he's otherwise occupied with his hand suddenly being intercepted and snatched. there's the slightest huff when he fees the fabric around his wrist, and he entertains the thought of being more difficult, but even when he lets rafayel find his other hand, he keeps just enough of a subtle gap between them so he can slip his hand out later when he no longer feels like being tied...
there's the slightest hiss when the bite comes, but instead of seeking any distance, tobari only presses himself more against rafayel. his tied hands move up and over rafayel's head, using the locked position of his hands to rest behind neck and draw him in closer. even if tobari will let himself be tied up, that doesn't mean he's going to be obedient ]
I could be worse. Besides, I think you like it.
[ case in point: he'll deepen the kiss even as he starts stepping backward toward the direction of the bedroom, forcibly tugging rafayel along with him ]
[ HELP I WAS EXPECTING YOU TO FTB AND YOU DO THKS TO ME INSTEAD!!!!
i like how you, dana, have these questions and tobari doesn’t. that said, he’s surprised by the sudden show of obedience. but instead of relief, he feels like it only further serves to keep him on his toes. the thought of restraining himself was so much easier when tobari wasn’t pressed up against him like this.
while the tie was supposed to help him retain some semblance of control, he sees that may have never been in the cards. ] I don’t know about that. [ a lie, he loves it. ] The price for putting your hands all over me is steep. You’re my prisoner now. Even if you scream or cry, I won’t let you leave.
[ is this not reassuring? prisoner play…
he returns the kiss with just as much fervor as he stumbles after him. unlike his home, the entryway is much shorter and the distance to the bedroom was even less. he’s already trying to push tobari onto the bed, quickly forgetting that his arms are tied behind his neck… he clumsily catches himself, even as he struggles not to break their kiss. ]
[ I MEAN I'LL PROBABLY STILL FTB BUT I HAD QUESTIONS THAT NEEDED TO BE ANSWERED
also given the PRISONER PLAY, i think that a little bit of light bondage and trying to tie him up is probably the least of tobari's concerns... the clumsy fall and catch onto the bed is honestly really funny though, and it prompts some of tobari's own laughter when he finally breaks away from the kiss for air ]
It seems like my warden is still a bit uncoordinated. [ and then, openly taunting, ] Do you really think you could? Make me scream? Cry? Beg?
[ is this a joke to you, tobari... maybe. his eyes are bright with amusement even as he presses his own kisses against rafayel's cheek and then along his jaw, down his neck before he too retaliates with a bite. this is the only type of revenge he'll ever act on, apparently.
when he pulls back, admiring the mark he left behind, he's still a bully ]
Did you have a plan when you tied me up or was this just an intrusive thought?
[ there is something so mean about making someone explain the choices they made when they were horny ]
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Yeah, well, not wrong for that.
[ it's the contrast that exists within tobari—someone who inherently doesn't trust people or have any faith in most of humanity, but also can't bring himself to abandon strangers or ignore people in need. he's not an optimist, but he's not a true cynic either. ]
... but that's true. People sometimes get too used to the status quo. They don't consider what life is like for people without certain luxuries, or they could suddenly become that person who never sees the ocean again...
[ but rafayel has probably heard him talk about this plenty during all his grumbling and mumbling about everything wrong with the world... he returns to his side anyway, taking his hand again. ]
... I still like it here. [ if he's being honest. ] Even if I wish I could've seen it as you knew it, too.
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You're right. We live in a world that's sometimes colder than even the deepest depths of the ocean. [ ... he does give a small huff though. ] But, thanks for saying that you still like it.
If there is one thing that's better than before... [ as tobari returns to him, he also holds his hand tightly.
he then leans down and picks up a stray flower kicked up from the wind, and tucks it gently behind tobari's ear. ]
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though he's interrupted from those thoughts when there's a flower tucked behind his ear, and he just huffs out a breath of disbelief. ]
I'm not really sure that suits me...
[ he's not such a gentle person that he should get to be decorated with flowers, he thinks. but he accepts it, the same way he accepts anything and everything from rafayel. even this flower will get pressed in the pages of a book when they get home to preserve and keep. ]
But if I can add anything to make life easier for you, I'm glad.
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It's pretty. [ he'd argue it suits tobari perfectly. the dab of pastel against tobari's otherwise high contrasting colors of red and black— it was captivating in its own way. even if by his next words, he does take on a more playful stance. ]
Easy... [ he smiles at that. ] I didn't say that.
[ he's half-kidding, but it's true that he'd like to think while it is easy to be together, there was, inevitably, the harder moments too. that wasn't to state that tobari himself gave him a hard time, but... listen, introducing tobari to vacations and work-life balance is no simple task. ]
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Shouldn't that be my line...
[ SURELY HE CAN'T BE THAT DIFFICULT... NOT COMPARED TO THIS BRAT.... (he is very difficult) ]
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[ there's a reason tobari's house keys are the one with the pufferfish on them...
but, that said, he likes even that about tobari. he'd like to think he's the only one who can handle him. though, in reality, rafayel is wrong because tobari is perfect. ]
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… hm.
[ well. ]
But in comparison…
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but, before tobari can say anything else, rafayel puts a finger to his lips. ]
Shhh, swallow it. [ there's an easygoing smile. ] You weren't going to use this time to complain about me, were you?
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… you’ve been kind of a pain.
But that’s the usual… So I guess I’ll hold back today.
[ so maybe he can still spoil rafayel… ]
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so he easily falls back into step with tobari. ]
Silly. [ he wants to say he'll also be on best behavior, but that seemed ridiculous knowing what he has planned for tomorrow. ] I'll also be good for tonight. You'll get the full service, which also includes getting tucked in and one goodnight kiss.
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it is mostly because he’s being indulgent as usual… but he tilts his head, mildly confused. ]
Just one?
[ are they not on vacation? do they not have all the time in the world? ]
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rafayel opens his mouth, but ends up closing it. he swallows down his initial reaction of wanting to fold immediately, and instead adopts a fake show of nonchalance. ] Just one. [ he repeats with a bit more finality. ]
We have to get you to bed early.
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[ he doesn't need rafayel to fold now when he knows that it is inevitable... it's not as common for tobari to be as demanding of attention, but it's why he doubts he'll be denied on the rare occasion that it happens. rafayel is weak and tobari will play dirty if need be.
and maybe given all the talk of rafayel changing or being distant, it's why he wants to hold on a little bit tighter tonight. ]
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it really is rare, and he's right that there's no way that rafayel could ever truly deny him.
it's why he's already pulling tobari closer, and he leans in to give him a kiss on the lips. it's light at first, but he does go in for a second, and just barely stops himself from going in for a third. they've kissed so many times on this path that he isn't even sure if he remembers how lonely it used to be at all... ]
You're lucky. It looks like I already broke my own rule.
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tobari isn't prone to being demanding in this way, not really, but the idea of the one he loves being away from him makes something crawl so uncomfortably underneath his skin. something like anxiety, something like fear. it eases just a bit when rafayel pulls him closer and he lets his arms loop around his neck as he meets him for those kisses so easily. ]
Of course you would.
[ he's calling rafayel predictable and he's not even going to apologize for it ]
... but I am still lucky. [ he won't let them get melancholy again though, instead just claiming that third kiss for himself. though he bites lightly at rafayel's bottom lip even as he pulls away. ] And you are, too. This is still vacation. We're sleeping in tomorrow.
[ sorry if rafayel had something else planned—but tobari plans on keeping his lover close, even if it means having to literally sink his teeth into him ]
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but, even that seems to dissipate with the kiss tobari plants back on him. ] Those are dangerous words, you know. The big bad fish might gobble you up whole. [ he leans in and in a petty revenge he places his teeth on tobari's cheek.
why are they both eating each other ]
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not unlike now
but tobari will pull away a bit at the bite, making a face even though he's not loosening his hold on rafayel himself ]
You're the last person [ or fish ] I'd think to be afraid of.
[ but he narrows his eyes, frowning ]
But you should face the consequences of what you started.
[ IT REALLY WAS RAF'S BEHAVIOR THAT'S GOTTEN TOBARI THIS RESTLESS... it's fine, he's decided that he will soothe his own nerves by simply demanding more affection and physical proof of that ties that bind them ]
We can head back, unless there's more stops on your tour.
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but, he does give a small hint of a chuckle, though he does attempt to temper it with just a sly sort of smile. ] The consequences, huh? Does that mean you're the one who's gonna punish me? [ but, it's said lightheartedly, like he wasn't actually considering how this was probably his fault seconds ago. ]
No more stops. I told you what I wanted for dessert already, too.
[ tobari, not the dairy.
though, he really was thinking of letting him off easy tonight to just sleep, so? wow? the one time he tried to be good? ]
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[ but rafayel really thought that he would get an easy night to sleep after all these antics... tobari knows that it's probably unintentional and rafayel is in a strange headspace that makes him both distant and close all at once... but having any distance imposed at all is something that he's not comfortable with.
so that's probably why as soon as they make it back to where they're staying, he'll lock the door behind them and then immediately pin rafayel against it, catching his mouth in a searing kiss. no distance! no ominous things left unsaid! just kisses ]
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as soon as they get back, he's about to shrug out of his more rigid dinner outfit, but then feels his back against the wall. as chatty as he normally is, all those words seem to elude him when tobari kisses him so fervently. it's that desperation again, and he can't help but become absorbed in it.
his hand comes up to caress the side of tobari's neck, and he meets him just as hungrily. when he pulls away, there's still some saliva on the corner of his lips. ] Hey, slow down. [ or else he won't be able to control himself. or so he's saying, but he's also pulling off tobari's tie now...
when all he does is eat dairy products and lie ]
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especially since right after rafayel speaks, tobari closes the distance between them again with another kiss and rafayel can probably feel the curve of his mouth into a smirk already threatening to slip onto his lips. his next question is similarly murmured against rafayel's mouth. just one easy syllable: ]
Why?
[ what's the point in slowing down? they have all evening. even as one of tobari's hands is moving to unbutton raf's own shirt, and his other is tugging it up so curious fingers can already slip beneath the fabric to brush against bare skin. how badly he wants to confirm his lover's presence with every sense he has availability to him ]
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he grabs tobari's disobedient hand that's now slipping into the gaps of fabric. there's blistering heat in the wake of his touches, and rafayel can already tell his heart is beating erratically in his chest. in moments like these, he really can't see anyone or anything else. but, maybe that's why in moments where they're this intimate, he feels so vulnerable.
he knows it (probably) isn't the last time, and yet he can't fight the thought of the possibility that it could be.
maybe that's why every one of his touches felt like their own way to reassure him. ... and in turn, rafayel also wants to put his mind at ease.
... and so, he firmly holds his hand in place as he uses the tie to wrap around tobari's wrist. then he tries grabbing his other hand. ] Because you're being bad. [ he says simply, but it's clear this is mostly all for show. how is tying him up going to put him at ease? great question.
he leans back in to breathe against the nape of tobari's neck. keeping his promise from earlier, his teeth settle onto his skin, clamping down just enough to be a little painful. ]
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truly, tobari only barely has the frame of mind to nudge the accessories away with his foot so that they don't accidentally step, break, or slip on them because he's otherwise occupied with his hand suddenly being intercepted and snatched. there's the slightest huff when he fees the fabric around his wrist, and he entertains the thought of being more difficult, but even when he lets rafayel find his other hand, he keeps just enough of a subtle gap between them so he can slip his hand out later when he no longer feels like being tied...
there's the slightest hiss when the bite comes, but instead of seeking any distance, tobari only presses himself more against rafayel. his tied hands move up and over rafayel's head, using the locked position of his hands to rest behind neck and draw him in closer. even if tobari will let himself be tied up, that doesn't mean he's going to be obedient ]
I could be worse. Besides, I think you like it.
[ case in point: he'll deepen the kiss even as he starts stepping backward toward the direction of the bedroom, forcibly tugging rafayel along with him ]
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i like how you, dana, have these questions and tobari doesn’t. that said, he’s surprised by the sudden show of obedience. but instead of relief, he feels like it only further serves to keep him on his toes. the thought of restraining himself was so much easier when tobari wasn’t pressed up against him like this.
while the tie was supposed to help him retain some semblance of control, he sees that may have never been in the cards. ] I don’t know about that. [ a lie, he loves it. ] The price for putting your hands all over me is steep. You’re my prisoner now. Even if you scream or cry, I won’t let you leave.
[ is this not reassuring? prisoner play…
he returns the kiss with just as much fervor as he stumbles after him. unlike his home, the entryway is much shorter and the distance to the bedroom was even less. he’s already trying to push tobari onto the bed, quickly forgetting that his arms are tied behind his neck… he clumsily catches himself, even as he struggles not to break their kiss. ]
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also given the PRISONER PLAY, i think that a little bit of light bondage and trying to tie him up is probably the least of tobari's concerns... the clumsy fall and catch onto the bed is honestly really funny though, and it prompts some of tobari's own laughter when he finally breaks away from the kiss for air ]
It seems like my warden is still a bit uncoordinated. [ and then, openly taunting, ] Do you really think you could? Make me scream? Cry? Beg?
[ is this a joke to you, tobari... maybe. his eyes are bright with amusement even as he presses his own kisses against rafayel's cheek and then along his jaw, down his neck before he too retaliates with a bite. this is the only type of revenge he'll ever act on, apparently.
when he pulls back, admiring the mark he left behind, he's still a bully ]
Did you have a plan when you tied me up or was this just an intrusive thought?
[ there is something so mean about making someone explain the choices they made when they were horny ]
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