[ it really is a bold belief when combated against the fact that tobari was oddly tender-hearted. he was kind and endlessly forgiving at his core, and while rafayel doesn't know the extent of this in the context of his crimes— he does know enough to determine that tobari was genuinely a good person.
too good for him, he thinks.
however, he'd like to think as much as justice is created with ones own hands, that maybe, people didn't always necessarily get what they deserved. how else could he explain the fact that his face is being touched so gently by such indulgent hands. he closes his eyes, savoring the way his lover's fingers travel over his features. ]
How could I... [ even if tobari had rejected him so completely... even if he started to perceive him as a monster... he could never regret this.
the kiss is so soft and gentle that is almost feels like an illusion. maybe that's why he leans in, refusing to break it immediately. he tilts his head just slightly, planting just one more clumsy kiss on the corner of his mouth. ]
Even if you didn't do any of that, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. Don't distance yourself from me. No matter who I become, don't leave.
[ there is an irony in the fact that rafayel is already rich and that is, by default, what tobari always hates most. can he really be all that kind when he assumes every rich person is greedy, selfish, and ignorant by default? there are still echoes of it in their relationship—tobari's inherent rankling against all things that reek of wealth. he doesn't ask about rafayel's purchases, remains willfully unaware of price tags, and puts money out of his mind whenever possible.
rafayel's already proven him wrong and won against tobari's most ingrained and stubborn biases, so how could he become something so awful that it'd make tobari leave?
tobari fell for rafayel for countless other reasons. his kindness, generosity, thoughtfulness—how he could find moments to play and make life seem lighter even on the days where tobari felt himself frustrated by everything else. the idea of not having him is what prompts tobari to hold rafayel all the closer, frustrated by even the notion of such a future. ]
... I can't tell what's going through your head to make you worried about something like that. But it just makes me want you that much nearer to me.
[ they're still outside—so tobari doesn't answer that second clumsy kiss as passionately as he wants, but he does give rafayel a third one anyway, more insistent. ]
[ funny enough, tobari is still probably right 9/10 times. it's true it's not every rich person, but they were often at the scene of the crime. money often equated to power, riches to ego, and both were frequently a recipe for disaster. with those who enter that top percentile, he's sure common luxury goods no longer served to satiate them.
... and so, they shoot for something rarer. things more intangible, like promises of everlasting life and eternal youth.
tobari was so much the opposite of what he's heard of humans and the surface world. he wonders if there's a single person out there, who wouldn't have been hopelessly attracted to this part of him? while they've had a bit of a rough start, it didn't change how intensely he felt for him. if anything, he may have liked that part of tobari even more. it felt a lot more honest than most interactions he's had with anyone. he liked being challenged and kept on his toes. but, it would also be a lie to say he didn't enjoy the time they've spent where their feelings were mutual either (he's not that much of an m, though he is a certified yearner).
it isn't the first time tobari has held him this close, but it feels different tonight than it normally does. ]
... You act like I'm going to go away. [ he says this like this isn't his fault. but, he secretly delights in this rare show of desperation from tobari. rafayel brushes his fingers through tobari's hair, and gives a small nod. ]
Okay. I won't go anywhere. And even if you change your mind, I'll chase you to the ends of the earth.
[ tobari shoots rafayel a slightly withering look, a sentiment of 'whose fault is that'.... all these ominous sentiments of what he might become, or accepting him no matter what... but at the very least, tobari doesn't feel particularly daunted. no, he's painfully stubborn and even more than that—devastatingly loyal. there's not much from rafayel that he couldn't accept, he thinks.
even if it came at a large personal cost to himself, it's hard for him to think of a version of events where he doesn't love him, or doesn't want him to stay right where he is. ]
... mm. [ a soft, accepting sound. ] It won't come to that, but... alright.
[ he presses one more kiss to rafayel's cheek, tilting his head as he still tries to puzzle out what he's feeling... like he's having trouble accepting that he has to wait a little longer still. patience isn't always one of his strong suits when it comes to the people he cares about but... ]
The tour can continue now. Maybe with less dramatics.
[ HELP... rafayel pretends not to notice that look.
tobari is so confident, that it's kind of hard not to want to believe in him at the very least. he's probably been oscillating between these extremes for the past week, and he isn't surprised it's all caught up to him here. ]
... Hey, you also contributed. I'd say it was at least a 51-49 split.
[ group effort. when tobari gives him that look, he can't help but to pinch his cheek.
but, he is walking tobari closer to the grassy hills leading towards the sand. the grassy hills are full of flowers, and so rafayel treads carefully as he leads him through. ]
[ not the cheek pinch... he scowls reflexively and pulls his face away. stop. this is not a second thread where he bites rafayel's hand but please know that he thinks about it...
tobari follows after anyway though, opting to hold onto rafayel's hand this time, and gets distracted fairly quickly by the flowers... he's not sure he can make out all the details in the evening, but he peers over to get a closer look anyway ]
... are there any other big changes to this place from when you were younger? Besides the eyesore.
rafayel chuckles just a little at tobari pulling away like that. cheek pulling and head pats... tobari's two enemies, and yet rafayel still tries his luck. but, it's hard when he finds everything about his reactions so loveable.
when tobari tries to get a closer look, rafayel does let go of him. he watches him for a moment, before: ] Yeah, it's easier to see when it's light out, but the ocean was more vivid green-blue back then. You could see more fish just skimming around the surface, so the seagulls were also always circling around looking for a bite to eat. ... Though, maybe it is a bit quieter without them?
[ except, as he says this one does fly over their heads, perching nearby. ]
[ tobari looks up over at the seagull, tilting his head curiously, before he lets his gaze drift from the flowers over to the sea. it's true that it was hard to make out it's real color against the night sky, but it makes him think about how it's dulled... there are so many things that human touch that seem to lose their luster. ]
... makes sense that you and the other Lemurians would be mad at us. [ thoughtfully. there's so much trash in the sea that they just didn't ask for ] People don't really know how to take care of what they're lucky to behold.
[ he'll at least include himself in that even though he tries to be careful... inherently part of the problem by being human.
he just doesn't like the idea of silence coming from... a lack of life. that's different from peace. ]
[ he looks at tobari thoughtfully, before shaking his head. ]
Don't worry. According to most elders, they weren't a fan to start with so.
[ lol, that probably doesn't make it better, but it doesn't make it worse at least. ] But, I think you're right. It's easy for people to lose sight of the beauty of things right in front of them. The more constant something is, the easier it is take it for granted. So I think it's important to be able to take it slow like this. [ but, he does look back to the seagull. he gives a shrug in its direction as if to say he doesn't have any food.
[ it's the contrast that exists within tobari—someone who inherently doesn't trust people or have any faith in most of humanity, but also can't bring himself to abandon strangers or ignore people in need. he's not an optimist, but he's not a true cynic either. ]
... but that's true. People sometimes get too used to the status quo. They don't consider what life is like for people without certain luxuries, or they could suddenly become that person who never sees the ocean again...
[ but rafayel has probably heard him talk about this plenty during all his grumbling and mumbling about everything wrong with the world... he returns to his side anyway, taking his hand again. ]
... I still like it here. [ if he's being honest. ] Even if I wish I could've seen it as you knew it, too.
[ it may not be the first time he's heard tobari speak similarly on the topic, but it's an easy point to agree with each time. besides, the meaning feels a little deeper because tobari is human. but, he likes the part of him that never makes excuses, and he can tell it comes from a place of genuine appreciation for the natural world. ]
You're right. We live in a world that's sometimes colder than even the deepest depths of the ocean. [ ... he does give a small huff though. ] But, thanks for saying that you still like it.
If there is one thing that's better than before... [ as tobari returns to him, he also holds his hand tightly.
he then leans down and picks up a stray flower kicked up from the wind, and tucks it gently behind tobari's ear. ]
[ it's mystifying to him sometimes—but he knows rafayel is right. there is so much about the world that feels so broken. how could they manage to be more cruel and desolate than even the darkest pits of the ocean where it's all survival of the fittest and instinct?
though he's interrupted from those thoughts when there's a flower tucked behind his ear, and he just huffs out a breath of disbelief. ]
I'm not really sure that suits me...
[ he's not such a gentle person that he should get to be decorated with flowers, he thinks. but he accepts it, the same way he accepts anything and everything from rafayel. even this flower will get pressed in the pages of a book when they get home to preserve and keep. ]
But if I can add anything to make life easier for you, I'm glad.
It's pretty. [ he'd argue it suits tobari perfectly. the dab of pastel against tobari's otherwise high contrasting colors of red and black— it was captivating in its own way. even if by his next words, he does take on a more playful stance. ]
Easy... [ he smiles at that. ] I didn't say that.
[ he's half-kidding, but it's true that he'd like to think while it is easy to be together, there was, inevitably, the harder moments too. that wasn't to state that tobari himself gave him a hard time, but... listen, introducing tobari to vacations and work-life balance is no simple task. ]
You really don't think you're difficult, like ever?
[ there's a reason tobari's house keys are the one with the pufferfish on them...
but, that said, he likes even that about tobari. he'd like to think he's the only one who can handle him. though, in reality, rafayel is wrong because tobari is perfect. ]
[ he wonders if tobari holds back because of all that remains unsaid, or if it really was just him being indulgent per usual. it's hard to discern, but he supposed the emotions and care behind them doesn't really change either way.
so he easily falls back into step with tobari. ]
Silly. [ he wants to say he'll also be on best behavior, but that seemed ridiculous knowing what he has planned for tomorrow. ] I'll also be good for tonight. You'll get the full service, which also includes getting tucked in and one goodnight kiss.
rafayel opens his mouth, but ends up closing it. he swallows down his initial reaction of wanting to fold immediately, and instead adopts a fake show of nonchalance. ] Just one. [ he repeats with a bit more finality. ]
Hmmm. [ thoughtfully... indulgently... before he decides: ] No.
[ he doesn't need rafayel to fold now when he knows that it is inevitable... it's not as common for tobari to be as demanding of attention, but it's why he doubts he'll be denied on the rare occasion that it happens. rafayel is weak and tobari will play dirty if need be.
and maybe given all the talk of rafayel changing or being distant, it's why he wants to hold on a little bit tighter tonight. ]
[ his sudden show of stubbornness does end up making him exhale a little in humor. there's a bit more mirth in his eyes as opposed to how easily he would fall into his own thoughts earlier while they were cleaning. it's hard for him to remain in a mood when tobari was so obviously... needy tonight.
it really is rare, and he's right that there's no way that rafayel could ever truly deny him.
it's why he's already pulling tobari closer, and he leans in to give him a kiss on the lips. it's light at first, but he does go in for a second, and just barely stops himself from going in for a third. they've kissed so many times on this path that he isn't even sure if he remembers how lonely it used to be at all... ]
You're lucky. It looks like I already broke my own rule.
[ stop having it hang over his head that his boyfriend is being all ominous and cagey and talking like they're going to apart or he's going to become someone unforgivable... what the hell is he supposed to do with that...
tobari isn't prone to being demanding in this way, not really, but the idea of the one he loves being away from him makes something crawl so uncomfortably underneath his skin. something like anxiety, something like fear. it eases just a bit when rafayel pulls him closer and he lets his arms loop around his neck as he meets him for those kisses so easily. ]
Of course you would.
[ he's calling rafayel predictable and he's not even going to apologize for it ]
... but I am still lucky. [ he won't let them get melancholy again though, instead just claiming that third kiss for himself. though he bites lightly at rafayel's bottom lip even as he pulls away. ] And you are, too. This is still vacation. We're sleeping in tomorrow.
[ sorry if rafayel had something else planned—but tobari plans on keeping his lover close, even if it means having to literally sink his teeth into him ]
[ he guesses he deserves that. if being predictable is the cost of making the love of his life happy, then it's an easy price to pay. too cheap for all the strife he's probably put him through today. rafayel feels a little guilty knowing he may have unintentionally pushed tobari to his point...
but, even that seems to dissipate with the kiss tobari plants back on him. ] Those are dangerous words, you know. The big bad fish might gobble you up whole. [ he leans in and in a petty revenge he places his teeth on tobari's cheek.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
too good for him, he thinks.
however, he'd like to think as much as justice is created with ones own hands, that maybe, people didn't always necessarily get what they deserved. how else could he explain the fact that his face is being touched so gently by such indulgent hands. he closes his eyes, savoring the way his lover's fingers travel over his features. ]
How could I... [ even if tobari had rejected him so completely... even if he started to perceive him as a monster... he could never regret this.
the kiss is so soft and gentle that is almost feels like an illusion. maybe that's why he leans in, refusing to break it immediately. he tilts his head just slightly, planting just one more clumsy kiss on the corner of his mouth. ]
Even if you didn't do any of that, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. Don't distance yourself from me. No matter who I become, don't leave.
no subject
rafayel's already proven him wrong and won against tobari's most ingrained and stubborn biases, so how could he become something so awful that it'd make tobari leave?
tobari fell for rafayel for countless other reasons. his kindness, generosity, thoughtfulness—how he could find moments to play and make life seem lighter even on the days where tobari felt himself frustrated by everything else. the idea of not having him is what prompts tobari to hold rafayel all the closer, frustrated by even the notion of such a future. ]
... I can't tell what's going through your head to make you worried about something like that. But it just makes me want you that much nearer to me.
[ they're still outside—so tobari doesn't answer that second clumsy kiss as passionately as he wants, but he does give rafayel a third one anyway, more insistent. ]
I'm not going anywhere, Raf. Neither are you.
[ decides that for him ]
no subject
... and so, they shoot for something rarer. things more intangible, like promises of everlasting life and eternal youth.
tobari was so much the opposite of what he's heard of humans and the surface world. he wonders if there's a single person out there, who wouldn't have been hopelessly attracted to this part of him? while they've had a bit of a rough start, it didn't change how intensely he felt for him. if anything, he may have liked that part of tobari even more. it felt a lot more honest than most interactions he's had with anyone. he liked being challenged and kept on his toes. but, it would also be a lie to say he didn't enjoy the time they've spent where their feelings were mutual either (he's not that much of an m, though he is a certified yearner).
it isn't the first time tobari has held him this close, but it feels different tonight than it normally does. ]
... You act like I'm going to go away. [ he says this like this isn't his fault. but, he secretly delights in this rare show of desperation from tobari. rafayel brushes his fingers through tobari's hair, and gives a small nod. ]
Okay. I won't go anywhere. And even if you change your mind, I'll chase you to the ends of the earth.
no subject
even if it came at a large personal cost to himself, it's hard for him to think of a version of events where he doesn't love him, or doesn't want him to stay right where he is. ]
... mm. [ a soft, accepting sound. ] It won't come to that, but... alright.
[ he presses one more kiss to rafayel's cheek, tilting his head as he still tries to puzzle out what he's feeling... like he's having trouble accepting that he has to wait a little longer still. patience isn't always one of his strong suits when it comes to the people he cares about but... ]
The tour can continue now. Maybe with less dramatics.
[ unlikely, given who's involved ]
no subject
tobari is so confident, that it's kind of hard not to want to believe in him at the very least. he's probably been oscillating between these extremes for the past week, and he isn't surprised it's all caught up to him here. ]
... Hey, you also contributed. I'd say it was at least a 51-49 split.
[ group effort. when tobari gives him that look, he can't help but to pinch his cheek.
but, he is walking tobari closer to the grassy hills leading towards the sand. the grassy hills are full of flowers, and so rafayel treads carefully as he leads him through. ]
no subject
tobari follows after anyway though, opting to hold onto rafayel's hand this time, and gets distracted fairly quickly by the flowers... he's not sure he can make out all the details in the evening, but he peers over to get a closer look anyway ]
... are there any other big changes to this place from when you were younger? Besides the eyesore.
[ the winery... ]
no subject
rafayel chuckles just a little at tobari pulling away like that. cheek pulling and head pats... tobari's two enemies, and yet rafayel still tries his luck. but, it's hard when he finds everything about his reactions so loveable.
when tobari tries to get a closer look, rafayel does let go of him. he watches him for a moment, before: ] Yeah, it's easier to see when it's light out, but the ocean was more vivid green-blue back then. You could see more fish just skimming around the surface, so the seagulls were also always circling around looking for a bite to eat. ... Though, maybe it is a bit quieter without them?
[ except, as he says this one does fly over their heads, perching nearby. ]
no subject
[ tobari looks up over at the seagull, tilting his head curiously, before he lets his gaze drift from the flowers over to the sea. it's true that it was hard to make out it's real color against the night sky, but it makes him think about how it's dulled... there are so many things that human touch that seem to lose their luster. ]
... makes sense that you and the other Lemurians would be mad at us. [ thoughtfully. there's so much trash in the sea that they just didn't ask for ] People don't really know how to take care of what they're lucky to behold.
[ he'll at least include himself in that even though he tries to be careful... inherently part of the problem by being human.
he just doesn't like the idea of silence coming from... a lack of life. that's different from peace. ]
no subject
Don't worry. According to most elders, they weren't a fan to start with so.
[ lol, that probably doesn't make it better, but it doesn't make it worse at least. ] But, I think you're right. It's easy for people to lose sight of the beauty of things right in front of them. The more constant something is, the easier it is take it for granted. So I think it's important to be able to take it slow like this. [ but, he does look back to the seagull. he gives a shrug in its direction as if to say he doesn't have any food.
some things don't change, maybe. ]
no subject
Yeah, well, not wrong for that.
[ it's the contrast that exists within tobari—someone who inherently doesn't trust people or have any faith in most of humanity, but also can't bring himself to abandon strangers or ignore people in need. he's not an optimist, but he's not a true cynic either. ]
... but that's true. People sometimes get too used to the status quo. They don't consider what life is like for people without certain luxuries, or they could suddenly become that person who never sees the ocean again...
[ but rafayel has probably heard him talk about this plenty during all his grumbling and mumbling about everything wrong with the world... he returns to his side anyway, taking his hand again. ]
... I still like it here. [ if he's being honest. ] Even if I wish I could've seen it as you knew it, too.
no subject
You're right. We live in a world that's sometimes colder than even the deepest depths of the ocean. [ ... he does give a small huff though. ] But, thanks for saying that you still like it.
If there is one thing that's better than before... [ as tobari returns to him, he also holds his hand tightly.
he then leans down and picks up a stray flower kicked up from the wind, and tucks it gently behind tobari's ear. ]
no subject
though he's interrupted from those thoughts when there's a flower tucked behind his ear, and he just huffs out a breath of disbelief. ]
I'm not really sure that suits me...
[ he's not such a gentle person that he should get to be decorated with flowers, he thinks. but he accepts it, the same way he accepts anything and everything from rafayel. even this flower will get pressed in the pages of a book when they get home to preserve and keep. ]
But if I can add anything to make life easier for you, I'm glad.
no subject
It's pretty. [ he'd argue it suits tobari perfectly. the dab of pastel against tobari's otherwise high contrasting colors of red and black— it was captivating in its own way. even if by his next words, he does take on a more playful stance. ]
Easy... [ he smiles at that. ] I didn't say that.
[ he's half-kidding, but it's true that he'd like to think while it is easy to be together, there was, inevitably, the harder moments too. that wasn't to state that tobari himself gave him a hard time, but... listen, introducing tobari to vacations and work-life balance is no simple task. ]
no subject
Shouldn't that be my line...
[ SURELY HE CAN'T BE THAT DIFFICULT... NOT COMPARED TO THIS BRAT.... (he is very difficult) ]
no subject
[ there's a reason tobari's house keys are the one with the pufferfish on them...
but, that said, he likes even that about tobari. he'd like to think he's the only one who can handle him. though, in reality, rafayel is wrong because tobari is perfect. ]
no subject
β¦ hm.
[ well. ]
But in comparisonβ¦
no subject
but, before tobari can say anything else, rafayel puts a finger to his lips. ]
Shhh, swallow it. [ there's an easygoing smile. ] You weren't going to use this time to complain about me, were you?
no subject
β¦ youβve been kind of a pain.
But thatβs the usualβ¦ So I guess Iβll hold back today.
[ so maybe he can still spoil rafayel⦠]
no subject
so he easily falls back into step with tobari. ]
Silly. [ he wants to say he'll also be on best behavior, but that seemed ridiculous knowing what he has planned for tomorrow. ] I'll also be good for tonight. You'll get the full service, which also includes getting tucked in and one goodnight kiss.
no subject
it is mostly because heβs being indulgent as usualβ¦ but he tilts his head, mildly confused. ]
Just one?
[ are they not on vacation? do they not have all the time in the world? ]
no subject
rafayel opens his mouth, but ends up closing it. he swallows down his initial reaction of wanting to fold immediately, and instead adopts a fake show of nonchalance. ] Just one. [ he repeats with a bit more finality. ]
We have to get you to bed early.
no subject
[ he doesn't need rafayel to fold now when he knows that it is inevitable... it's not as common for tobari to be as demanding of attention, but it's why he doubts he'll be denied on the rare occasion that it happens. rafayel is weak and tobari will play dirty if need be.
and maybe given all the talk of rafayel changing or being distant, it's why he wants to hold on a little bit tighter tonight. ]
no subject
it really is rare, and he's right that there's no way that rafayel could ever truly deny him.
it's why he's already pulling tobari closer, and he leans in to give him a kiss on the lips. it's light at first, but he does go in for a second, and just barely stops himself from going in for a third. they've kissed so many times on this path that he isn't even sure if he remembers how lonely it used to be at all... ]
You're lucky. It looks like I already broke my own rule.
no subject
tobari isn't prone to being demanding in this way, not really, but the idea of the one he loves being away from him makes something crawl so uncomfortably underneath his skin. something like anxiety, something like fear. it eases just a bit when rafayel pulls him closer and he lets his arms loop around his neck as he meets him for those kisses so easily. ]
Of course you would.
[ he's calling rafayel predictable and he's not even going to apologize for it ]
... but I am still lucky. [ he won't let them get melancholy again though, instead just claiming that third kiss for himself. though he bites lightly at rafayel's bottom lip even as he pulls away. ] And you are, too. This is still vacation. We're sleeping in tomorrow.
[ sorry if rafayel had something else planned—but tobari plans on keeping his lover close, even if it means having to literally sink his teeth into him ]
no subject
but, even that seems to dissipate with the kiss tobari plants back on him. ] Those are dangerous words, you know. The big bad fish might gobble you up whole. [ he leans in and in a petty revenge he places his teeth on tobari's cheek.
why are they both eating each other ]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)