... mm. It can be tough realigning expectations with reality as is.
[ tobari doesn't often get homesick for a place—but rather for a time. for people. when things might've felt simpler. though even that's a passing feeling, considering how rich he feels in his life now.
still... ghosts have a way of creeping up on you. ]
[ what tobari says is likely accurate to what he felt.
the disconnection. the apathy. he really was just a walking corpse of a person going through the motions of what could have been perceived as living a normal life. but, the fact that tobari can even understand this part of him, he smiles just a little. ] Mmm, that's right. Back then, my teacher would force me on all kinds of errands to try and get me out of the house. I used to think he was so frivolous and carefree.
[ but, maybe that was his way of showing concern. ]
[ hmmm. tobari will finish up arranging the clutter in the area that he's working in, then going to sit by raf—not for any great reason or purpose. just to be a little nearer to him while he's recounting his memories in this place. tobari looks around as he listens, trying to imagine the scenes in his head as raf speaks. ]
Ah... Or maybe he wanted you to go out and see more of the world that you'd wanted to reach. Both the good and bad parts of it.
while realizing that, rafayel still shakes his head. ] Nah, he was too simple-minded for that. All he cared about is alcohol and painting, you know. He was a total pain to carry home when he was drunk. [ but, he does finish sorting out the section of loose sketches and he neatly packs them away. ]
Anyway, are you ready for the best seafood dinner tonight?
[ tobari just makes a faintly amused sound at the mention. when rafayel finishes packing away the sketches, he'll reach out just to run his fingers through his bangs and then lightly fix his hair as an excuse just to touch him ]
I'm still glad the old lush could teach you.
[ he also loves raf's art, though it's more accurate to say he likes watching the process of raf paint more than the art itself even if he does always find it impressive ]
Me too. [ there's nothing remotely sad about his expression, but there is a brief pause, like he's lost in thought. when tobari reaches to brush his fringe from his face, he does end up dipping his head just slightly as if to make it easier for him to touch him. ]
I'll finish clearing these boxes, and then we can head out. [ that said, he does look at the television. they seem to be discussing the event they're heading to tomorrow. a grand birthday party for someone who also seems to love art and owns several hundreds of vineyards across the world.
[ . . . hmmm. tobari tilts his head as he watches raf's expression, but chooses not to press for now. instead he'll glance over to the television as well and
okay to his credit his expression doesn't full on scrunch but there's a very disdainful roll of his eyes. rich people. still, he'll briefly cup raf's cheek in his hand as if to express that he's not mad at him for the fact that tobari is here and move to get up ]
[ the boxes are moved with relative ease. he figures this will at least make the space more livable. though, he wonders when the next time he'll drop by even is. the thought gets a soft hum of thought from him before he closes the door of the closet he places them in.
he then sets out to find tobari. without saying anything, he wraps his arms around his waist from behind. ] I haven't forgot what I promised, by the way. [ that he'd gradually tell him more about him. ] I've been waiting for this event for a long time.
[ tobari is probably just finishing wiping down the kitchen counter even though they're going to head out for dinner, and while the arms around him get him to still for just a second - he'll lean back against raf after. still gonna finish his task though. ]
... this one a friend of yours...?
[ if it's a birthday celebration...? except tobari's pretty sure he would've at least heard the name before this if that was the case... ]
A friend? [ he repeats quietly, before shaking his head. ]
Not exactly. But, he is important. [ as the object of his revenge. but, he doesn't get too in-depth about that here. he decides the best time to tell tobari everything was after the deed was done. where tobari doesn't have to feel complicit, walking into that venue with the pressing thought that rafayel arrives there as an assassin.
... and he likes this bit of peace before that. even if his heart couldn't be anymore erratic, and confused. the only thing he feels that grounds him is the feeling of tobari leaning back against him. ] Though, I promise we won't be there for long.
[ . . . hm. tobari looks thoughtful for a second at that and finds that his list of questions only grows. how can some rich person he's never heard of be important, but not in a fond way? what happened to rafayel's art mentor? what's this strange, unplaceable melancholy that he feels from rafayel every now and then... and how can he ease it?
it's not too long before he finishes the last of his cleaning, bringing his hand up to rafayel's cheek after and guiding him down for a kiss as tobari looks over his shoulder to meet him. ]
Something to worry about tomorrow then. [ he won't linger on it ] For now, you said this would also be our vacation, right? So I'm pretty sure that means until then, you should get to focus on this time with me.
[ larps being 2% demanding to see if it'll help distract raf from his depression ]
[ the hand to his cheek does successfully manage to shake him from his thoughts temporarily. he peers back at him, and releases a soft sigh. as their lips come together, he also can't help but lick the corner of his lips before pressing them together once more. when he pulls away, he can't help but find tobari's attempt at being bossy... really endearing. he knows tobari's words probably stem from concern. after all, he tended to be incredibly perceptive at times like these...
sometimes rafayel feels like tobari reads through his moods so easily. ]
That's the plan. Besides, I think there are lots of sights you can only see here too. [ ... ]
[ after opening up so much of your heart to someone, it's probably a little bit more obvious when they're holding something back. tobari's sure that rafayel feels the exact same way when he also guards his own secrets, given how rare they are to begin with. like a barrier that wasn't there before. those are the thoughts that linger for him as he idly lets his nose brush against raf's cheek, staying close for just a second after the kisses are over ]
Mm. Sure. You said you went to school around here, right? How many years were you here anyway...?
[ but he'll turn in raf's arms once he's done putting the cleaning rag down, arms circling around his neck in turn. he tilts his head, curious, but also once again studying raf's expression ]
[ he feels tobari's gaze on him. normally, he liked being studied. he enjoyed the way their eyes would meet, and appreciated that in moments like these they were genuinely trying to understand one another. it was almost like they were both attempting to fill in invisible gaps to a glass of water that was already halfway full, as if they both believed they could salvage it all. ... and maybe together they could. he feels a certain warmth, and it isn't just from the kiss they share. it makes it difficult for him to remain in his melancholy, and there's a slight shift as he tries to remain a bit more lighthearted. ]
It felt like centuries, honestly? But, maybe just two or three years? It wasn't very long. Long enough for the roads to become familiar, but where... it's not really home, yeah. Are you really that curious about me as a student?
[ he brushes a finger right beneath tobari's eyelashes. ]
[ he's still under raf's touch, letting his fingertip roam as he wants, not flinching away from the touch or his gaze. ]
Maybe? Who wouldn't be? [ curious about what their lover was like growing up, though tobari can also make a joke, ] Though it makes me wonder if we would've gotten along if we met when we were younger.
[ every group of friends that meets later in life but is like 'do you think we would've been friends in high school' and the answer is almost always no ]
Suzune and I moved around growing up... but we never left the city. [ they were shuffled from home to home for different reasons ] So I can't say I know what it's like.
[ the thought gets a little laugh out of rafayel. he'd personally like to think they would. that it would be like lovers reuniting before they've ever even met; almost as if it were fate, and maybe it is, if just because rafayel couldn't have imagined falling for anyone else. he also gets the feeling that tobari has a hard time leaving those who appear like they're struggling alone... so maybe they still would have met, and like clockwork, their feelings would have bud in a similar fashion.
or he's just a cagefisher. ]
I think so. You still wouldn't be able to take your eyes off me. [ he says with a shrug, before nodding along. ]
And I'm the same. [ ... ] What else? What were you like when you were younger? For some reason, I can't picture you as anything, but overly responsible and hardworking. I get the feeling you were practically born with that one expression you always make.
[ he presses a finger playfully between tobari's brows.
[ rafayel is so sweet and sentimental while tobari is thinking about how if they were assigned to a group project together, raf would get on his nerves so bad and tobari would have to take lead on most of the work but at least they'd have the most beautifully designed poster presentation in class
speaking of that one expression, he's making it now as his brows furrow with the tap and then he lightly shakes his head just to dislodge raf's finger ]
You can ask Suzune. She'd say something about how I was overprotective and fussy... [ but their childhood isn't all that fun to talk about, given that tobari probably got put to work from a young age just to make end's meet. ] But even I was a kid, you know?
[ in theory. but he'll give raf a quick kiss on the cheek before lightly nudging him away—tobari normally doesn't have a problem with just standing around and chatting away while sticking close to each other, but he's hungry.... he doesn't sleep on a normal schedule but he does eat ]
[ they would be so set on visuals, it's true. he would probably also be decent at presenting information. you know, at the expense of tobari having to wrangle him under strict deadlines while rafayel simultaneously derails them both with a promises of a coffee date.
when tobari shakes his head beneath his finger, he ends up dropping it back to his side, though not without a slight pout of his lips. ] ... As in you were a troublemaker? [ that also wouldn't surprise rafayel. tobari had a bit of rebellious streak in him. he was the type who seemed to place himself on the backburner as long as it meant he could serve those in his close proximity. or even some higher, more elusive goal they've likely only talked about in passing between all his projects.
that said, he does smile a little at the kiss. he's already dusting his own hands off, so he can start leading them towards the dinner venue.
(for the record, he is absolutely going to ask suzune for the scoops.)
before, that, he does end up grabbing tobari by the wrist. ]
Then, are you going to change into the outfit I packed for you?
[ he can wear his all white wedding outfit i guess. why did i suddenly noncon you into this ]
[ which is to say he picked fights with bullies and assholes. but also tobari did probably cause mischief here and there, so long as it didn't hurt anybody. suzune would probably talk about this more, the way that tobari would come back with scrapes and bruises and not explain why...
though at the question, he's just tilting his head ]
You want me to wear white to dinner? Is this a test? I thought it was for tomorrow.
[ YOU REALLY SUDDENLY BROUGHT THIS UP. the idea of tobari being stuck in all white while rafayel is having an assassin moment is also funny. imagine he gets blood on it. that's aesthetic and sexy ]
[ he says this as he's pulling tobari towards their suitcases. ] Oh, yeah. You do need that for tomorrow. [ he says with a brief smile on his lips as he's leaning down and grabbing a new shirt for himself, and for tobari... his hand lingers over some of tobari's clothes.
this is why tobari should have left him buy like... all five options? but, you're right, white needs to be saved for tomorrow's festivities. :)
for now, rafayel grabs another black shirt out of tobari's pile. ] Don't you think it feels more vacation-y? [ i wish i could be more insane and it's the catch 22 outfits. but not even rafayel is crazy enough to suggest that... ]
[ THE BDSM OUTFITS? the way tobari honestly doesn't mind getting told what to wear, he just hates excess so five options is too many.... his closet probably has a bunch of varying statement pieces and hand me downs from his neesans. there's no way that he's a boring dresser but even he probably wouldn't do the insane bdsm outfits for a random dinner ]
What am I, your dress-up doll...?
[ but he'll take it anyway. they're the only ones here so he doesn't care about just starting to shrug off the shirt he's already wearing after undoing whatever fasten held it shut ]
We live beachside, I'm not sure if anything gets more naturally luxurious than that.
but, at his words, he does give an almost sly smile. ] You only noticed now? [ when he's undoing his shirt, rafayel is already smoothing out the fabric of the shirt tobari's about to put on. he stands directly in front of him and he delicately slides his hands over tobari's chest. he establishes eye contact briefly, before giving a playful huff of humor. at least, he quickly gives up and begins dutifully buttoning him up, not unlike he was his butler.
does tobari get the feeling butler roleplay will commence, because he should. ]
So that's what the Young Master of the house thinks?
tobari gives raf a briefly exhausted look, but fine—he'll still take this over the melancholy, so he'll briefly play along. when raf helps him out, he'll lift his own arms to rest lightly over raf's shoulders. the fingers on his right hand idly card through raf's hair, an excuse to touch him as he gets helped with getting dressed. the role reversal of this is hilarious when some days tobari thinks raf is richer than god....
for some reason he thinks of his friend awayuki who can't reasonably be a butler in this au but is probably hinagiku's personal assistant? ]
Even this Young Master knows when to count his blessings. [ this is already ooc because no rich person is ever as grateful as tobari ] What more could I want besides the sea and you?
[ tries to think of what rich people like ]
Maybe a yacht? A fourth house I don't use? Gold leaf tissues?
the steady contact on his shoulders is comforting in a way, and it takes a bit of effort for him not to slip out of his self-imposed butler role. he keeps his expression perfectly even, though the touch of mirth that reaches his eyes are probably obvious enough. once tobari is perfectly buttoned up, he flips the collar of his shirt upwards, and also grabs a dark red tie that he's set on one of the bedside tables. he gently places it around tobari's neck, he does use it to nudge tobari a little closer, as if testing how much he can get away with. in a way, he feels like he's looking at one of his canvases. the care and the artistry behind his touch is no different, at least. ]
You don't think that last one falls a bit short...? But if our spoiled little prince wants it, he gets it... [ is there any butler out there who could boldly declare his master is spoiled? probably not. but, since tobari isn't actually spoiled... surely it cancels out.
that said, he does end up plucking a gold tie clip with a single diamond on it from his pocket, and clips it in the space between the two buttons. ]
[ hinagiku picks out clothes for them both but then awayuki helps her get ready in the morning including doing her hair...
tobari tilts his head, obviously confused at the idea of gold leaf tissues falling short. isn't that the most wasteful thing in the world? why put gold on something that would just disappear? except rafayel is picking out a gold tie clip with a goddamn diamond in it and tobari is trying to keep his expression steady so he bites back a comment on this being too fucking much! raf!!!! okay so maybe tobari has an incorrect idea of how much gold is worth at all!!!
rich people................... ]
... lucky me? [ this is killing him, he can't larp a spoiled rich boy well at all ] ... you sure this isn't overkill?
[ he really couldn't keep himself from commenting on the diamond ]
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[ tobari doesn't often get homesick for a place—but rather for a time. for people. when things might've felt simpler. though even that's a passing feeling, considering how rich he feels in his life now.
still... ghosts have a way of creeping up on you. ]
So it took you a while to pick up painting?
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the disconnection. the apathy. he really was just a walking corpse of a person going through the motions of what could have been perceived as living a normal life. but, the fact that tobari can even understand this part of him, he smiles just a little. ] Mmm, that's right. Back then, my teacher would force me on all kinds of errands to try and get me out of the house. I used to think he was so frivolous and carefree.
[ but, maybe that was his way of showing concern. ]
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Ah... Or maybe he wanted you to go out and see more of the world that you'd wanted to reach. Both the good and bad parts of it.
[ he shrugs ]
But you'd know better than I would.
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while realizing that, rafayel still shakes his head. ] Nah, he was too simple-minded for that. All he cared about is alcohol and painting, you know. He was a total pain to carry home when he was drunk. [ but, he does finish sorting out the section of loose sketches and he neatly packs them away. ]
Anyway, are you ready for the best seafood dinner tonight?
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I'm still glad the old lush could teach you.
[ he also loves raf's art, though it's more accurate to say he likes watching the process of raf paint more than the art itself even if he does always find it impressive ]
Ah. I'm hungrier than I thought I'd be.
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I'll finish clearing these boxes, and then we can head out. [ that said, he does look at the television. they seem to be discussing the event they're heading to tomorrow. a grand birthday party for someone who also seems to love art and owns several hundreds of vineyards across the world.
two criminals... always watching the news ]
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okay to his credit his expression doesn't full on scrunch but there's a very disdainful roll of his eyes. rich people. still, he'll briefly cup raf's cheek in his hand as if to express that he's not mad at him for the fact that tobari is here and move to get up ]
Ah. Sure. I'll just wipe down the other rooms.
[ to clear any last traces of dust... ]
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he then sets out to find tobari. without saying anything, he wraps his arms around his waist from behind. ] I haven't forgot what I promised, by the way. [ that he'd gradually tell him more about him. ] I've been waiting for this event for a long time.
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... this one a friend of yours...?
[ if it's a birthday celebration...? except tobari's pretty sure he would've at least heard the name before this if that was the case... ]
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Not exactly. But, he is important. [ as the object of his revenge. but, he doesn't get too in-depth about that here. he decides the best time to tell tobari everything was after the deed was done. where tobari doesn't have to feel complicit, walking into that venue with the pressing thought that rafayel arrives there as an assassin.
... and he likes this bit of peace before that. even if his heart couldn't be anymore erratic, and confused. the only thing he feels that grounds him is the feeling of tobari leaning back against him. ] Though, I promise we won't be there for long.
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it's not too long before he finishes the last of his cleaning, bringing his hand up to rafayel's cheek after and guiding him down for a kiss as tobari looks over his shoulder to meet him. ]
Something to worry about tomorrow then. [ he won't linger on it ] For now, you said this would also be our vacation, right? So I'm pretty sure that means until then, you should get to focus on this time with me.
[ larps being 2% demanding to see if it'll help distract raf from his depression ]
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sometimes rafayel feels like tobari reads through his moods so easily. ]
That's the plan. Besides, I think there are lots of sights you can only see here too. [ ... ]
We can even walk around after we eat.
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Mm. Sure. You said you went to school around here, right? How many years were you here anyway...?
[ but he'll turn in raf's arms once he's done putting the cleaning rag down, arms circling around his neck in turn. he tilts his head, curious, but also once again studying raf's expression ]
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It felt like centuries, honestly? But, maybe just two or three years? It wasn't very long. Long enough for the roads to become familiar, but where... it's not really home, yeah. Are you really that curious about me as a student?
[ he brushes a finger right beneath tobari's eyelashes. ]
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Maybe? Who wouldn't be? [ curious about what their lover was like growing up, though tobari can also make a joke, ] Though it makes me wonder if we would've gotten along if we met when we were younger.
[ every group of friends that meets later in life but is like 'do you think we would've been friends in high school' and the answer is almost always no ]
Suzune and I moved around growing up... but we never left the city. [ they were shuffled from home to home for different reasons ] So I can't say I know what it's like.
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or he's just a cagefisher. ]
I think so. You still wouldn't be able to take your eyes off me. [ he says with a shrug, before nodding along. ]
And I'm the same. [ ... ] What else? What were you like when you were younger? For some reason, I can't picture you as anything, but overly responsible and hardworking. I get the feeling you were practically born with that one expression you always make.
[ he presses a finger playfully between tobari's brows.
he's kidding. he loves it. ]
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speaking of that one expression, he's making it now as his brows furrow with the tap and then he lightly shakes his head just to dislodge raf's finger ]
You can ask Suzune. She'd say something about how I was overprotective and fussy... [ but their childhood isn't all that fun to talk about, given that tobari probably got put to work from a young age just to make end's meet. ] But even I was a kid, you know?
[ in theory. but he'll give raf a quick kiss on the cheek before lightly nudging him away—tobari normally doesn't have a problem with just standing around and chatting away while sticking close to each other, but he's hungry.... he doesn't sleep on a normal schedule but he does eat ]
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when tobari shakes his head beneath his finger, he ends up dropping it back to his side, though not without a slight pout of his lips. ] ... As in you were a troublemaker? [ that also wouldn't surprise rafayel. tobari had a bit of rebellious streak in him. he was the type who seemed to place himself on the backburner as long as it meant he could serve those in his close proximity. or even some higher, more elusive goal they've likely only talked about in passing between all his projects.
that said, he does smile a little at the kiss. he's already dusting his own hands off, so he can start leading them towards the dinner venue.
(for the record, he is absolutely going to ask suzune for the scoops.)
before, that, he does end up grabbing tobari by the wrist. ]
Then, are you going to change into the outfit I packed for you?
[ he can wear his all white wedding outfit i guess. why did i suddenly noncon you into this ]
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[ which is to say he picked fights with bullies and assholes. but also tobari did probably cause mischief here and there, so long as it didn't hurt anybody. suzune would probably talk about this more, the way that tobari would come back with scrapes and bruises and not explain why...
though at the question, he's just tilting his head ]
You want me to wear white to dinner? Is this a test? I thought it was for tomorrow.
[ YOU REALLY SUDDENLY BROUGHT THIS UP. the idea of tobari being stuck in all white while rafayel is having an assassin moment is also funny. imagine he gets blood on it. that's aesthetic and sexy ]
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[ he says this as he's pulling tobari towards their suitcases. ] Oh, yeah. You do need that for tomorrow. [ he says with a brief smile on his lips as he's leaning down and grabbing a new shirt for himself, and for tobari... his hand lingers over some of tobari's clothes.
this is why tobari should have left him buy like... all five options? but, you're right, white needs to be saved for tomorrow's festivities. :)
for now, rafayel grabs another black shirt out of tobari's pile. ] Don't you think it feels more vacation-y? [ i wish i could be more insane and it's the catch 22 outfits. but not even rafayel is crazy enough to suggest that... ]
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What am I, your dress-up doll...?
[ but he'll take it anyway. they're the only ones here so he doesn't care about just starting to shrug off the shirt he's already wearing after undoing whatever fasten held it shut ]
We live beachside, I'm not sure if anything gets more naturally luxurious than that.
[ just pointing that out, ]
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but, at his words, he does give an almost sly smile. ] You only noticed now? [ when he's undoing his shirt, rafayel is already smoothing out the fabric of the shirt tobari's about to put on. he stands directly in front of him and he delicately slides his hands over tobari's chest. he establishes eye contact briefly, before giving a playful huff of humor. at least, he quickly gives up and begins dutifully buttoning him up, not unlike he was his butler.
does tobari get the feeling butler roleplay will commence, because he should. ]
So that's what the Young Master of the house thinks?
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tobari gives raf a briefly exhausted look, but fine—he'll still take this over the melancholy, so he'll briefly play along. when raf helps him out, he'll lift his own arms to rest lightly over raf's shoulders. the fingers on his right hand idly card through raf's hair, an excuse to touch him as he gets helped with getting dressed. the role reversal of this is hilarious when some days tobari thinks raf is richer than god....
for some reason he thinks of his friend awayuki who can't reasonably be a butler in this au but is probably hinagiku's personal assistant? ]
Even this Young Master knows when to count his blessings. [ this is already ooc because no rich person is ever as grateful as tobari ] What more could I want besides the sea and you?
[ tries to think of what rich people like ]
Maybe a yacht? A fourth house I don't use? Gold leaf tissues?
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the steady contact on his shoulders is comforting in a way, and it takes a bit of effort for him not to slip out of his self-imposed butler role. he keeps his expression perfectly even, though the touch of mirth that reaches his eyes are probably obvious enough. once tobari is perfectly buttoned up, he flips the collar of his shirt upwards, and also grabs a dark red tie that he's set on one of the bedside tables. he gently places it around tobari's neck, he does use it to nudge tobari a little closer, as if testing how much he can get away with. in a way, he feels like he's looking at one of his canvases. the care and the artistry behind his touch is no different, at least. ]
You don't think that last one falls a bit short...? But if our spoiled little prince wants it, he gets it... [ is there any butler out there who could boldly declare his master is spoiled? probably not. but, since tobari isn't actually spoiled... surely it cancels out.
that said, he does end up plucking a gold tie clip with a single diamond on it from his pocket, and clips it in the space between the two buttons. ]
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tobari tilts his head, obviously confused at the idea of gold leaf tissues falling short. isn't that the most wasteful thing in the world? why put gold on something that would just disappear? except rafayel is picking out a gold tie clip with a goddamn diamond in it and tobari is trying to keep his expression steady so he bites back a comment on this being too fucking much! raf!!!! okay so maybe tobari has an incorrect idea of how much gold is worth at all!!!
rich people................... ]
... lucky me? [ this is killing him, he can't larp a spoiled rich boy well at all ] ... you sure this isn't overkill?
[ he really couldn't keep himself from commenting on the diamond ]
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