but, also he's confident he did a pretty good job? the praise doesn't come, but he takes the lack of any ensuing rebuttal as a win. also wow... waiting for him to obey???? but, he does obey. (sad)
he lets the shower clear out the shampoo, before he cracks an eye open to look at tobari. ] You don't think it's weird to tell a fish to shut its eyes under water?
[ they are both kind of prone to attaching themselves to each other... at least at home. thinks about how tobari doesn't like overt pda ]
Does the fish want soap in his eyes? Will the fish not whine like a overgrown baby when it stings?
[ DOUBT!!!!!!! but assuming they have concluded their nice shower that responsibly didn't get spicy, tobari will gently hold rafayel's face between his hands and guide him down so he can smack a kiss against his forehead. after, he'll turn off the shower and reach for their towels so he can toss one over the fish's head and start drying him off ]
jk, rafayel probably commits a few pda crimes, but only as much as he feels like he can get away with. kind of like now, as his fingers trail over tobari's shoulders, and gently slide down his back. ]
You have a funny image of fish. It's not good to stereotype.
[ he gives a small huff, before he does end up closing his eyes to the kiss. he removes his hands off of tobari as he exits the shower and grabs them a towel. when tobari dries him off, he stops him midway, holding his hand out so he can dry him first. he won't catch a cold if he's left out like this, but tobari might? ]
[ helpβ¦ tobari is fine with holding hands in public and can tolerate more in small doses but it depends on where they areβ¦ in the comfort of their home, heβll let rafayel do as he pleases—including interrupting him to trade off drying responsibilities
it makes him tilt his head momentarily though just ??? ]
I decided you also need a treat for being a good boy.
[ is all he says before he gently takes the already damp towel. he still places it on tobari as he gently starts brushing it against his hair, working through it. his own feelings aside, he does believe tobari himself could benefit from focusing on himself, especially since he's always been the type to focus on others. ... it's an obsession, really.
which is why he does his best to dry his hair and then his shoulders with diligence. ]
[ not being a good boy... he rolls his eyes, but just doesn't say anything to allow raf this much. he is so exceedingly lenient today. maybe that's what mutual terrorism does for a relationship
when raf's done, tobari'll glance back up to study his expression—he doesn't expect this short time with each other to heal all problems and mend all secrets that raf is keeping from him, but... ]
You'll be alright to sleep now?
[ was this much at least enough to ward off the worry of nightmares? ]
I... [ he stops for now, instead looking back at tobari. he gives him a sly smile, before wrapping the towel around tobari's neck and using it to jerk him closer.
it feels nice to be worried about in a way. a reminder that he isn't alone. ] That depends on my body pillow. [ he gives an annoying wink. but, he's actually kind of serious? if he sleeps with tobari like usual, he thinks he can fall asleep a bit more peacefully this time.
even if it's completely dreamless, he thinks it'd still be nice. ]
[ a half-hearted grumble as he's pulled closer, one arm instinctively finding its way around raf's middle while the other reaches out to the shower tile to steady himself. ]
Then don't make us slip or neither of us is gonna sleep well.
[ he sighs, but there's no denying it's a relieved sound... he'll press a kiss to rafayel's cheek then before pulling away. as nice it is while the residual heat of the shower steam lasts, it'll get cold eventually. ]
[ at the sudden hand on his side, rafayel looks at tobari's grip before looking back at him. he's about to say something, but then he feels the kiss on his cheek, and decides better of it. (thank god)
at their close proximity, he can already smell their shared soap intermingling in the air, and it's relaxing in a different sort of way. he's already grabbing tobari's bath robe. ]
Yeah, and stand around with nothing on and you're not gonna get any sleep at all. [ he's kidding, he's already wrapping it over tobari's shoulders, and heading to the bedroom first. why is he a hypocrite and also naked. ]
[ well now i just want to know what he was going to say even though tobari doesn't
anyway he'll just comment on it himself: ] Hypocrite. Is your self-control that bad?
[ he'll accept the bathrobe but he's going to put on pajama pants in five seconds and call it a night. i've decided it's the cat pajamas because it would genuinely bring him joy even if it's understated... one day rafayel will be forced to share living space with an actual feline
for now it's just his extremely cat-like boyfriend getting into bed after hanging the bathrobe again and waiting for rafayel to also get at least half-dressed. once he is, he will just silently hold his arms open obligingly. get over here, you secret assassin big baby ]
even if rafayel has beef with cats, he can admit it does look cute on his boyfriend, so sins temporarily forgiven. even if he's definitely bought tobari other patterns too, including fish? actually, he wears the fish tonight to make his stance KNOWN!!!
which he's slipping into once he's in the actual bedroom. as for the top, he just puts the pajama top on, unbuttoned. ] And you said my self-control is bad? You really can't get enough, huh? [ says rafayel as he crawls into bed and is already pushing tobari's arms aside so he can be the one to hug him tightly first. ]
[ tobari chooses the cats over the fish about 80% of the time. he will wear the fish when the cats are already in the laundry hamper. i'm so sorry rafayel. he's loyal in all ways but this
when the tight hug comes, tobari doesn't actively comment on it. rather he'll just let the momentum carry them both down to the bed, falling back against the pillows and letting his own arms encircle rafayel to hug him back. despite how equally adoring the physical touch is, he's going to keep being rude, ]
I think your wishful thinking is getting really out of hand.
[ even though tobari is the one who'll catch the comforter to pull it up over them both, peppering brief, fleeting kisses against the side of rafayel's face in an overly sweet gesture. what is the truth ]
[ insert instagram videos of "how you can tell your bf/gf are losing interest in you"
he likes being on top (gen). he is already rubbing his head against tobari's cheek, then his neck, and he only stops when he feels tobari pull up the comforter. ... and now he's kissing him all over his face? really... what is the truth. ]
Oooor, your desperation is getting louder? [ he does eventually lean in to give him a brief, very chaste kiss on the lips, before he does shift his body from on top of tobari to slipping a little to the side, only his upper body remaining on him. he lets his weight rest against him, as he gives a soft hum of satisfaction. ]
[ OVER PAJAMAS rafayel you are so dramatic but so funny
tobari's about to quip back with something still rude, but he's very easily made to shut up when the kiss comes instead. he'll tilt his head just enough to let their mouths slot against each other more easily, sighing faintly when rafayel does pull away. it's easy enough for them to get comfy against each other... and tobari will just let his fingers run through rafayel's hair, his other hand resting between his shoulder blades as he settles in ]
... if you still have a hard time sleeping, just wake me up. [ just to say it, just in case. another kiss pressed to rafayel's hair before tobari himself nestles in slightly ] I'll stay with you.
[ he probably sends those kinds of videos all the time... or those ones that are like "questions to not ask your significant other" and the first one is completely out of pocket like "if it was discovered that you and your partner are actually long-lost half-siblings, would you stay together and would you tell anyone?"
thankfully, there's no self-created drama for tonight. instead, he's already closing his eyes, just letting his cheek rest against tobari's skin, and feeling along his chest where his heartbeat is nestled. ] I know. I know that, but... do you mean it? Always? No matter what?
Can you imagine what a pain it'd be to move out when I can't always tell what's yours or mine anymore? Not to mention, you'd keep Suzune in the breakup. I'm not into on-again, off-again relationships but I don't think we'd do well apart anymore so we might as well just stay together instead of inevitably getting back together anyway.
while tobari... technically, very technically, makes it out of this precarious situation he's put himself in by the skin of his teeth, rafayel is not going to forget this. mild threat on the backburner aside, he does fall silent at tobari's words. his chest feels tighter now, and it takes him a second to actually swallow down. he breathes in quietly for a moment, before he nods. he keeps his face presses down so tobari can't see his face. ]
Don't change your mind.
[ please, but that words dies out on his tongue, and he doesn't quite get it out. ]
[ tobari tilts his head faintly at the rollercoaster of emotion but he'll also move his hand from raf's back to guide his chin up for exactly one more kiss ]
If you give yourself a nightmare about us breaking up when I just said we shouldn't, it's not my fault.
[ not this... and after tobari spent the past hour trying to get rafayel to relax
he refuses to lose at the last second even though he doesn't take back anything he said. so he just sighs and presses another kiss to the corner of his mouth ]
I assumed it was one more thing we both shared?
[ barely holds back the urge to call him an idiot ]
Of course I don't ever want to lose you. If I don't say it enough, that's on me. I thought it was a given.
[ the fact that tobari is holding himself together for rafayel's peace is so funny...
actually, he's a little surprised... that tobari doesn't call him an idiot? huh, a mystery. but, it's one that he doesn't dwell on for very long. instead, he focuses on the feeling of his lips and his steady heartbeat. he ends up not pulling away from the kiss, or from tobari's arms. perhaps, indicating he's not actually too upset by all of this.
when tobari speaks, he suddenly presses lips against tobari's a little more roughly. he kisses him several times, before pulling away. ] Instead of that, couldn't you say something different? More than not losing me... I'd rather hear how much you want me.
there's a brief noise of surprise from him, short and cut off, before he just lets himself meet rafayel for the series of kisses that follow. when he hears the request, he blinks slowly once, twice, before letting his lips press against rafayel's just once more. this time when he pulls away, it's barely any space at all—words murmured against rafayel's mouth so they might be felt just as much as they're heard ]
I do want you.
[ plainly said, without all his usual posturing and bluster about how rafayel is also a pain in the ass (he is) (tobari still loves him) ]
More than anything or anyone I've ever wanted before—I can't think of a moment where I don't want you. [ another kiss pressed to raf's cheek, the following sentences said even as tobari kisses a trail to his ear ] When you lose yourself for hours painting, or get excited over a new cake flavor, or try to sneak Suzune a new gift when you think I'm not looking, or when you're lost in thought over something you're not ready to tell me. Every part of you. Every piece.
[ when he does make it to the shell of raf's ear, he pauses—but only very briefly. he doesn't put this string of words together often, preferring to show it in action rather than statement, but if rafayel's in a mood where he'd rather have it said... ]
[ their kisses always leave him a little dizzy, and if he's not careful, he feels like he can be consumed. to be honest, before tobari, he always had the distinct perception that love and pain went hand-in-hand. if someone had ever asked him to produce a metaphor about it— he'd easily compare love to a spice. an inextinguishable burning that remains on the tip of ones tongue. a feeling that was both painful, but also... incredibly addictive.
but, since being with tobari, he gets the impression that maybe love didn't always have to feel that way. like now.
when he hears tobari's confession, he feels a deeper sense of longing despite, tobari being here with him, he wants to be even closer. rafayel stares at tobari with a certain intensity, and despite the way his gaze sticks to him, it also feels like he's searching for something. whether it be his next words, or the lingering promise his words and actions seem to carry. he feels his lips against his ear, and he lets out a soft sigh.
he pulls himself up a bit. ]
I'm the same. I've never thought about bonding with anyone else. I want you to believe that. [ ... ] It sounds dramatic, but... [ he reaches over to grab hold of tobari's hand, he presses it against where his heart is. ] Because of you, my heart can't return to the peace it once knew. And because of you, my heart is beating like this. Can you feel it? [ his own way of saying, he feels the same.
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[ he says like he isn't the same way.
but, also he's confident he did a pretty good job? the praise doesn't come, but he takes the lack of any ensuing rebuttal as a win. also wow... waiting for him to obey???? but, he does obey. (sad)
he lets the shower clear out the shampoo, before he cracks an eye open to look at tobari. ] You don't think it's weird to tell a fish to shut its eyes under water?
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[ they are both kind of prone to attaching themselves to each other... at least at home. thinks about how tobari doesn't like overt pda ]
Does the fish want soap in his eyes? Will the fish not whine like a overgrown baby when it stings?
[ DOUBT!!!!!!! but assuming they have concluded their nice shower that responsibly didn't get spicy, tobari will gently hold rafayel's face between his hands and guide him down so he can smack a kiss against his forehead. after, he'll turn off the shower and reach for their towels so he can toss one over the fish's head and start drying him off ]
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jk, rafayel probably commits a few pda crimes, but only as much as he feels like he can get away with. kind of like now, as his fingers trail over tobari's shoulders, and gently slide down his back. ]
You have a funny image of fish. It's not good to stereotype.
[ he gives a small huff, before he does end up closing his eyes to the kiss. he removes his hands off of tobari as he exits the shower and grabs them a towel. when tobari dries him off, he stops him midway, holding his hand out so he can dry him first. he won't catch a cold if he's left out like this, but tobari might? ]
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it makes him tilt his head momentarily though just ??? ]
Arenβt I taking care of you tonight?
[ but heβll still allow the trade offβ¦ ]
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[ is all he says before he gently takes the already damp towel. he still places it on tobari as he gently starts brushing it against his hair, working through it. his own feelings aside, he does believe tobari himself could benefit from focusing on himself, especially since he's always been the type to focus on others. ... it's an obsession, really.
which is why he does his best to dry his hair and then his shoulders with diligence. ]
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when raf's done, tobari'll glance back up to study his expression—he doesn't expect this short time with each other to heal all problems and mend all secrets that raf is keeping from him, but... ]
You'll be alright to sleep now?
[ was this much at least enough to ward off the worry of nightmares? ]
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it feels nice to be worried about in a way. a reminder that he isn't alone. ] That depends on my body pillow. [ he gives an annoying wink. but, he's actually kind of serious? if he sleeps with tobari like usual, he thinks he can fall asleep a bit more peacefully this time.
even if it's completely dreamless, he thinks it'd still be nice. ]
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[ a half-hearted grumble as he's pulled closer, one arm instinctively finding its way around raf's middle while the other reaches out to the shower tile to steady himself. ]
Then don't make us slip or neither of us is gonna sleep well.
[ he sighs, but there's no denying it's a relieved sound... he'll press a kiss to rafayel's cheek then before pulling away. as nice it is while the residual heat of the shower steam lasts, it'll get cold eventually. ]
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at their close proximity, he can already smell their shared soap intermingling in the air, and it's relaxing in a different sort of way. he's already grabbing tobari's bath robe. ]
Yeah, and stand around with nothing on and you're not gonna get any sleep at all. [ he's kidding, he's already wrapping it over tobari's shoulders, and heading to the bedroom first. why is he a hypocrite and also naked. ]
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anyway he'll just comment on it himself: ] Hypocrite. Is your self-control that bad?
[ he'll accept the bathrobe but he's going to put on pajama pants in five seconds and call it a night. i've decided it's the cat pajamas because it would genuinely bring him joy even if it's understated... one day rafayel will be forced to share living space with an actual feline
for now it's just his extremely cat-like boyfriend getting into bed after hanging the bathrobe again and waiting for rafayel to also get at least half-dressed. once he is, he will just silently hold his arms open obligingly. get over here, you
secret assassinbig baby ]no subject
even if rafayel has beef with cats, he can admit it does look cute on his boyfriend, so sins temporarily forgiven. even if he's definitely bought tobari other patterns too, including fish? actually, he wears the fish tonight to make his stance KNOWN!!!
which he's slipping into once he's in the actual bedroom. as for the top, he just puts the pajama top on, unbuttoned. ] And you said my self-control is bad? You really can't get enough, huh? [ says rafayel as he crawls into bed and is already pushing tobari's arms aside so he can be the one to hug him tightly first. ]
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when the tight hug comes, tobari doesn't actively comment on it. rather he'll just let the momentum carry them both down to the bed, falling back against the pillows and letting his own arms encircle rafayel to hug him back. despite how equally adoring the physical touch is, he's going to keep being rude, ]
I think your wishful thinking is getting really out of hand.
[ even though tobari is the one who'll catch the comforter to pull it up over them both, peppering brief, fleeting kisses against the side of rafayel's face in an overly sweet gesture. what is the truth ]
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he likes being on top (gen). he is already rubbing his head against tobari's cheek, then his neck, and he only stops when he feels tobari pull up the comforter. ... and now he's kissing him all over his face? really... what is the truth. ]
Oooor, your desperation is getting louder? [ he does eventually lean in to give him a brief, very chaste kiss on the lips, before he does shift his body from on top of tobari to slipping a little to the side, only his upper body remaining on him. he lets his weight rest against him, as he gives a soft hum of satisfaction. ]
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tobari's about to quip back with something still rude, but he's very easily made to shut up when the kiss comes instead. he'll tilt his head just enough to let their mouths slot against each other more easily, sighing faintly when rafayel does pull away. it's easy enough for them to get comfy against each other... and tobari will just let his fingers run through rafayel's hair, his other hand resting between his shoulder blades as he settles in ]
... if you still have a hard time sleeping, just wake me up. [ just to say it, just in case. another kiss pressed to rafayel's hair before tobari himself nestles in slightly ] I'll stay with you.
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thankfully, there's no self-created drama for tonight. instead, he's already closing his eyes, just letting his cheek rest against tobari's skin, and feeling along his chest where his heartbeat is nestled. ] I know. I know that, but... do you mean it? Always? No matter what?
[1/2]
Can you imagine what a pain it'd be to move out when I can't always tell what's yours or mine anymore? Not to mention, you'd keep Suzune in the breakup. I'm not into on-again, off-again relationships but I don't think we'd do well apart anymore so we might as well just stay together instead of inevitably getting back together anyway.
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Yes, Raf. Always.
I'm yours forever.
[ even if you send him insane videos he clicks on every time that destroy his algorithm ]
1/2
while tobari... technically, very technically, makes it out of this precarious situation he's put himself in by the skin of his teeth, rafayel is not going to forget this. mild threat on the backburner aside, he does fall silent at tobari's words. his chest feels tighter now, and it takes him a second to actually swallow down. he breathes in quietly for a moment, before he nods. he keeps his face presses down so tobari can't see his face. ]
Don't change your mind.
[ please, but that words dies out on his tongue, and he doesn't quite get it out. ]
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I think a breakup would humble you, though.
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If you give yourself a nightmare about us breaking up when I just said we shouldn't, it's not my fault.
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[ hmph.
not him ending the night pouting... but, being given a kiss does alleviate some of his desire to be a pain in the ass. ]
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he refuses to lose at the last second even though he doesn't take back anything he said. so he just sighs and presses another kiss to the corner of his mouth ]
I assumed it was one more thing we both shared?
[ barely holds back the urge to call him an idiot ]
Of course I don't ever want to lose you. If I don't say it enough, that's on me. I thought it was a given.
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actually, he's a little surprised... that tobari doesn't call him an idiot? huh, a mystery. but, it's one that he doesn't dwell on for very long. instead, he focuses on the feeling of his lips and his steady heartbeat. he ends up not pulling away from the kiss, or from tobari's arms. perhaps, indicating he's not actually too upset by all of this.
when tobari speaks, he suddenly presses lips against tobari's a little more roughly. he kisses him several times, before pulling away. ] Instead of that, couldn't you say something different? More than not losing me... I'd rather hear how much you want me.
[ love him... ]
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there's a brief noise of surprise from him, short and cut off, before he just lets himself meet rafayel for the series of kisses that follow. when he hears the request, he blinks slowly once, twice, before letting his lips press against rafayel's just once more. this time when he pulls away, it's barely any space at all—words murmured against rafayel's mouth so they might be felt just as much as they're heard ]
I do want you.
[ plainly said, without all his usual posturing and bluster about how rafayel is also a pain in the ass (he is) (tobari still loves him) ]
More than anything or anyone I've ever wanted before—I can't think of a moment where I don't want you. [ another kiss pressed to raf's cheek, the following sentences said even as tobari kisses a trail to his ear ] When you lose yourself for hours painting, or get excited over a new cake flavor, or try to sneak Suzune a new gift when you think I'm not looking, or when you're lost in thought over something you're not ready to tell me. Every part of you. Every piece.
[ when he does make it to the shell of raf's ear, he pauses—but only very briefly. he doesn't put this string of words together often, preferring to show it in action rather than statement, but if rafayel's in a mood where he'd rather have it said... ]
I really do love you, you know.
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but, since being with tobari, he gets the impression that maybe love didn't always have to feel that way. like now.
when he hears tobari's confession, he feels a deeper sense of longing despite, tobari being here with him, he wants to be even closer. rafayel stares at tobari with a certain intensity, and despite the way his gaze sticks to him, it also feels like he's searching for something. whether it be his next words, or the lingering promise his words and actions seem to carry. he feels his lips against his ear, and he lets out a soft sigh.
he pulls himself up a bit. ]
I'm the same. I've never thought about bonding with anyone else. I want you to believe that. [ ... ] It sounds dramatic, but... [ he reaches over to grab hold of tobari's hand, he presses it against where his heart is. ] Because of you, my heart can't return to the peace it once knew. And because of you, my heart is beating like this. Can you feel it? [ his own way of saying, he feels the same.
enough to apparently lose sleep over it. ]
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