but, i am also emotional at cute teen suzune doing everything she wanted and MORE!!! can you imagine her cute clothes and accessories too? where is our modern suzune art. ]
I'd hold onto all three if I could, but your arms looked more lonely than mine did.
[ ... ] Plus, you could say this octopus is going to be my god of victory? [ extreme, but okay. that said, he is already looking through the drink menu. naturally, his eyes focus on the melon yogurt drink, but to be honest... he kind of wants to choose something tobari will like.
... what does tobari like to eat? has he seen him eating in purgatory? maybe a sake? ]
[ SHE WOULD BE SO CUTE.... SHE'D LOVE DRESS UP AND FASHION AND BEING A NORMAL TEENAGE GIRL....!!!! let's go influencer era suzune being cute and ruthless about men
let rafayel have a yogurt drink... tobari probably erred toward sake or something like a japanese whisky highball... but he hilariously also doesn't mind japanese sweets because it's what suzune liked and he missed her in purgatory.
anyway, smugly: ]
You're going to need all the luck you can get.
[ if he gets to choose the game he will be intentional and mean about it and see if he can find something raf is bad at because tobari doesn't want to do a dare. the difference in these approaches is killing me ]
[ i'm so glad her future has been established. performer and influencer....
while tobari didn't necessarily seem to mind sweets, especially on the occasions in which they'd share them together on the couch with suzune, and sometimes even thomas— rafayel still can't help the part of him that wants to dote on tobari a little. he ends up ordering a highball, but with a hint of raspberry and honey.
with the drink now in hand, he holds it up to tobari's lips to try and give him the first sip. ... maybe being a little inebriated would also suit his purposes in trying to win that dare. ] Luck? I'd argue it's aaaaall skill though? [ he hasn't played half these games...
but, also... rafayel isn't against cheating to get what he wants. ]
tobari has handed off two out of three of their plush children over to the bartender now, who was probably over enthusiastically giving dating advice. tobari finds this funnier than anything else but once the actual drink has been made, he’ll excuse himself to give raf his attention.
hilariously he is a heavyweight and also leans in to let raf offer him the drink like he’s used to it, like an asshole. the taste is a welcome one, and he makes a pleased noise in the back of his throat when he pulls back and licks his lips. ]
Good choice. [ but right back to trash talk ] But sure, why don’t you show me what you’ve got?
[ tobari is pointing at a shooter game with two players
he has never played it but he’s like. a gun is a gun? and he didn’t use his often in purgatory but if there’s anything he’s confident in, it’s his aim. he does not know he is subject to the whims of rng and apparently foul play ]
[ the unsolicited dating advice is like me trying to be yaoi prophet for you
rafayel does end up tilting his head from afar, as if trying to ask what his association was with them, and the depth of it. he supposed that was a question for later. he shouldn't be too surprised that tobari was fairly proficient in creating bonds; whether it be purgatory or here. though, the thought does linger on his brain for a bit, before he ends up focusing on the way that tobari really does take such a practiced sip of their drink. a reminder for him to make a fuss of that in the future.
for now, he also uses his finger to touch the corner of tobari's lip. so softly that it may have not actually made contact at all. as quickly as it comes, rafayel turns back to the screen. he takes one large gulp of the drink before setting it down on the counter closest to the game. ]
Anyone can use a gun. You do know that, right? [ sorry miss bodyguard.
but, also sorry that rafayel is getting his dare. ]
[ i've decided that this bartender is yves and have been writing him as such so yea i think yves would also try to be a yaoi prophet. yves loves love....
there's so much to make a fuss about—but apparently it all serves to get rafayel a near perfect score at the game while tobari does hilariously bad. he's startled at just how different the calibration is between this fake gun and a real gun, so that's about what he gets for trying to rig it so heavily in his favor. the overconfidence... ]
... huh.
[ he's impressed but also baffled ]
Guess I deserved that.
[ even if he will figure out a way to get revenge later in a much worse fashion......... he really gave raf a fair chance to get this dare and he got it!!!!
as if to brace himself against whatever the dare is going to be, tobari is going to pick up their shared drink and take another swig of it. wash down the taste of defeat, loser ]
[ i can't believe this is all i know about yves...
being competitive by nature, it's easy to see the way in which rafayel's body language immediately shifts into something a little more proud. considering he just destroyed tobari, there's an easygoing grin that makes its way on his face, especially as he nudges him a little with his forearm. ]
Weren't you like suuuuper confident just now?
[ but, he does feel a little bad when his eyes go back to the screen and then back at tobari's face. just a little.
though, that doesn't mean he isn't about to pull his phone from his back pocket and start adding furry kittens and a headband into the cart for same day delivery. these two concepts are not mutually exclusive. who knew. ]
Don't worry, I can't cash in immediately. [ turning the screen back to tobari so he can see what he ordered... ]
[ this is really all you need to know about yves he's a loverboy first and foremost and a person second
tobari at least isn't a sore loser—if anything, it's been a long time since he's been humbled so entirely so he's more amused than anything. the pride from rafayel just makes him roll his eyes good-naturedly ]
Maybe it'll make my comeback more satisfying.
[ for some reason he's convinced he'll win in the future
but at the INSANE CART CHOICE, HE'LL SHOOT THE MOST ANNOYED LOOK IN THE WORLD AT RAFAYEL. THE DARE IS SO MUCH WORSE THAN THE DEFEAT. HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THIS IS FOR. ]
[ his hand comes up to catch rafayel by the face, pulling him down just enough for their faces to get so close, tobari's expression turning defiant before he even knows what the dare is ]
Are you trying to make me into a pet? Do you want to get bit so badly?
the fact that tobari can brush it off probably speaks volumes to what kind of person he is, and rafayel can't help but find that part of him just as alluring. you know, even if he's absolutely going to make him do a little cat dance while wearing furry mittens and a headband.
actually, he thinks he should have also added a cute collar with a bell too... but, he holds back. at least that much.
do you want to know who isn't holding back, though???? tobari????
when rafayel's face gets snatched up, he does blink at tobari a few times. the abashment ends up settling in a few seconds too late as his ears flush. he can feel himself struggling to keep it together, and yet he still tries to push through. he tempers his own expression and the erratic beating of his heart. ]
... Dunno, you seem like a bad pet already. [ going to reach out and try and touch tobari's cheek. ]
I mean, you won't even let me touch you. [ since he hates lads head pats... ]
[ tobari is a graceful loser except for the fact that if you push him too far he will try to make it clear who's in charge. so maybe he's not a graceful loser at all?
rafayel's not wrong, though. tobari would make a horrible pet. terribly independent and prone to withholding his affections just because—and then delivering them like this, as a surprise, just to make problems. his own expression turns mischievous, the curve of his mouth lifting as if to invite challenge. rafayel can touch his cheek, and he'll tilt his head just ever so slightly to meet his touch. ]
Won't I?
[ his voice lowers as if offering a promise ]
Pretty sure I said if you had better ideas, I'd let you. Surely you can think of something if you want me so badly.
[ he didn't need to say it like that... well rafayel told him not to hold back on this date and tobari's not afraid of being bold
even if whether rafayel would act on those wants is the real question here, tobari thinks. ]
[ he realizes belatedly that he's nearly forgot to breathe for a second. the thought strikes him suddenly as he swallows hard. he isn't sure if it comes from the residual nerves from the night he's spent overthinking, or if it's just that he's entirely caught off-guard. even knowing this likely was just another act of rebellion by tobari, he can't help but feel a little hotter.
he makes a show of clearing his throat, albeit awkwardly. ] Badly? You might need to get your eyes checked. Last I recall, you also... [ his hand gently feels tobari's cheek, and then gently reaches to touch the lobe of his ears, then the tip of it, before he drops his hand. ]
Anyway, do you really want to do this in front of your friend there? You looked close. [ he's mostly teasing. but, maybe he's also just petty enough to bring this up here, yeah. ]
[ sure, it's an act of rebellion because he's mad about petplay, but he also means every word. rafayel getting momentarily tongue-tied is more than satisfying enough for him, something he's chalking up as his victory to balance out the crushing defeat he suffered over the arcade game. his eyes light up with mischief when rafayel gives in to touching him just a bit more, tilting his head into the touch while it lasts.
speaking of close, tobari smiles before he leans in impossibly closer, lips just a few scant centimeters away from rafayel's. ]
I don't mind. Isn't it better for everyone to know who I came here with? That you're the one I want to be closest to.
[ rudely appeals to rafayel's cagefish tendencies on purpose.
but he'll finish playing soon after, finally letting go of rafayel and stepping back to give him room to breathe. ]
Well, you're not wrong I'd rather keep some things private. [ goes back to just catching rafayel's hand in his own. safer? ] I think there's some drink left. You wanna finish it off before we go?
[ PETPLAY!!!!!! you're right though, i guess it is kind of petplay. how did i not realize this
unfortunately, tobari is right. the words do appeal to him. had they been in private, and had he been entering ebb day, he may not have been able to control his scales from peeking up the side of his neck as a sign of delight. as it stands, he's glad he can retain that shred of self-control.
as for his dignity? that may have been lost cause from the start. ]
Correction, I should be the only one.
[ the only one he's close with at all. at least, in terms of this type of relationship. though, he refuses to clarify on that point, even internally. he decides to pack that away alongside any other emotion he may have felt. so it's as relief when tobari gives him that space to.
even if rafayel grasps his hand like it's a life line. what is the truth... ]
I'll drink. [ he leans in, as if telling tobari to hold it up to him. this is also still very spoiled behavior. ]
[ tobari doesn't know that it's for a dance............... he just assumes this is some kind of insane twisted petplay because rafayel doesn't even like cats?
as is, he raises a brow at the correction—in the same breath, he lets rafayel retreat. tobari wouldn't mind that, but isn't this date just part of showing that he's serious about his intentions? it's just up to rafayel if he wants to keep playing along with it or not. ]
Pretty sure that's up to you, Raf.
[ if he wants all of tobari's attention, then he can have it
though all signs currently point to yes... they are just ending up more of a mess. despite this, tobari rolls his eyes with too much fondness, reaching for the glass that has just enough for one more satisfying gulp in it and lifting it to rafayel's mouth easily. tobari never entertained guests himself in the red light district, but the motions come familiarly to him nonetheless. ]
except, maybe fiction in this case is more frightening than reality, because the cat dance could be perceived as worse? at any rate, he can't help but feel a little anxious at tobari's words.
"that's up to you."
he never thought there'd be a day where that shred of what could be perceived as freedom felt so much... heavier than anything else. he's sure this is tobari's way of saying that he could dictate the pace and intensity of their relationship, but the answer still isn't entirely obvious to him. in the end, it's a decision he defers for now, instead putting his lips to the brim of the cup as he drinks down the last of their drink. ] You really know what I want.
[ the drink, he means.
but, he guesses that could be misleading. kind of like how he's already pressing his shoulder up against tobari's. he is feeling a little buzzed now, admittedly. though... if he's being honest, he also just wants to be closer to tobari. even if he feels like he may change his mind as soon as tomorrow. ]
it's funny because tobari doesn't know what rafayel wants at all. realistically, he's pretty sure he wants to be with that woman—but tobari has spent his time watching to see if the feeling was mutual. it's always been his opinion that if you're not wanted back, you should move on.
which is what led them here—because tobari can survive rafayel wanting someone else so long as he wants tobari too... but does he? or is this just for fun? is it just a result of tobari knowing a little too well how to be a good date and how to keep someone occupied? maybe it's his fault for muddling things between that line of love and lust—
maybe they really will be heterosexual housemates. or maybe tobari will be the one who has to move on... but the night is still young and they'll have forever to talk about that, won't they? so he puts it off too. in the end, he's just selfish enough to want to enjoy this even if some part of him is wondering if one night is all he's gonna get.
so he takes rafayel's weight when he comes in closer, laughing faintly as his fingers comes up to gently brush against his cheek. he'll let go of rafayel's hand, but only so that he can instead steady him with gentle pressure at the small of his back ]
You really can't hold your liquor, huh? I'll have to cut you off here.
Come on. Let's get some actual dinner.
[ and then he'll guide raf out of the barcade.... they can bring their octopus plush son with them. tobari will pick up the other toys tomorrow to bring them home ]
[ if only rafayel could adopt a similar philosophy...
for as simple as the solutions to life's most difficult problems tended to be, rafayel was prone to overthinking. even now, his brain is in a constant state of overdrive. he can't help but to read into every single one of tobari's words. or even his touch, like now. when he feels his hand against his back, he can already feel his body heating up, and he feels a bit like he did back in purgatory in that hotel lobby.
except... this time, he isn't under some curse.
he clears his throat a little, as if to feign retaining some sort of control over himself. ] Excuse you, I hold it just fine. You just happen to gulp it down like you're a fish. That's not my fault. [ but, he does allow himself to be lead out, even if he does hold the octopus a little higher as if to block his face. ]
[ blocking his face is... so cute. rafayel is... so cute. tobari at least doesn't comment actively on it, instead guiding rafayel out and making sure no one's close enough to bump into him on th eway like he's done this a million times before. the air is already starting to cool down with the evening and the setting sun by the time they get outside, and tobari walks them both down the street to their next destination. ]
Ah, they'd always goad me into drinking with them at the district, even if I was working. Worked to build my tolerance fast, if nothing else.
[ but it's still endearing that just this much was enough to get raf tipsy... ]
Well, don't get too caught up on your weird dare. You still have two more scrolls to cash in if you want to.
[ a secret and a question... he'll try to help with a topic change even if he's not sure what's got rafayel embarrassed this time... ]
Aren't you too young to be that experienced in drinking? [ he says as he gradually draws the plushie a little lower. still, he feels the way tobari gently steers him through the crowd, and even when he's a little buzzed, he isn't afraid of following his lead.
that said, it's hard for rafayel not to feel like itehari was a place that didn't agree with his own sensibilities. making tobari drink like that at a young age on top of all his other hardships... suzune's too. it just didn't sit well with him. ... and yet, he knows how precious of a place it was to tobari. so he swallows those thoughts. ]
In the abyss and in the district, you grow up fast.
[ but! that's not as fun to talk about. tobari is overly familiar with too many things that others would find upsetting or perhaps too mature, but that's all he's ever known. they live fast and die young, and it's hard to say they even do it well.
so he instead allows himself to just go with the topic change: ]
Ah. Go ahead.
[ he has no idea what raf might want to ask him at all ]
[ he can tell it's probably not a topic tobari wants to delve into. at least, not in the middle of a date.
... which, is still a strange concept for him to swallow, and yet when they walk together like this, it doesn't feel unnatural in the slightest.
maybe that's why he ends up asking the question he does. ]
Do you think we could always be like this...? [ it's not exactly the question he's actually thinking of at all, and yet they're the words that flow into him at the moment. he wonders if tobari could picture them together like this? would they have a different relationship in time?
he can't help but wonder if tobari really wants him, or if this may just be a fleeting passion for the one person who just couldn't let him go. ]
tobari tilts head, not bothering to hide his confusion. ]
Yeah?
[ said like… duh?
though that sounds more dismissive than he intended… but that must mean his sentiments haven’t come through clearly enough, huh? ]
I guess I haven’t been direct enough if you’re still asking. That’s my bad. [ so might as well make it clearer? they stop at a street corner, waiting for the walk signal, and tobari moves his hand from rafayel’s back to instead reach for his hand instead. he brings it up so that he can brush a kiss against the back of his knuckles. light but undeniable. ] I think we could be. I think it’d be easy. Easier than I ever expected.
[ to choose rafayel. to be with him and to let more of his attention be centered on one person’s happiness than all the world’s benefit. ]
admittedly, he is slightly intoxicated, and it probably shows in the almost languid way he tilts his head. but, before he struggles to ask for clarification, tobari ends up beating him to the punch. the kiss on the back of his hand isn't necessarily sudden, but it stops his heart in a similar way. he isn't sure if it's just shock though that gets his heart rate rising.
he's trying not to show his embarrassment, or the fact that he feels... both touched, and a little sorry. he falls silent, before he turns his head away, trying his best not to make eye contact. to be honest, he feels like it'd be over if he did.
but, contrary to the way he might have been setting himself up to keep their relationship ambiguous, he does end up squeezing down on tobari's fingers. he slides his palm over tobari's and gives it a final squeeze before drawing away. in this moment he's thankful to the alcohol in which he can blame his flushed cheeks on. ]
You're strangely optimistic about this. [ ... ]
If that was soooo obvious, can I ask you another? [ he doesn't wait for a response. ] Do you believe in a second love?
I don't know if I'd call it optimism. I don't actually expect you to say yes. I was just answering your question.
[ if he's being honest? and tobari is prone to honesty, at least when it comes to matters like this. his tempered expectations of rafayel's answer don't change the fact that the actual act of being together feels easy... even if the steps that it'd take to get there might still require more time. if this was a test, a temperature check, of how the rest of their time together could be... tobari doesn't think even rafayel can deny that it comes almost as easily as breathing. for better or worse.
rafayel pulls his hand away, but tobari is still overly cautious when he's a bit tipsy. his hand hovers at rafayel's back again, though his touch is lighter now. ]
... but I do. I don't think you get to choose who you fall for.
[ tobari should know—again, he feels like he's reaching for someone who's entirely out of the question for him. he waited months because he didn't want to make things more difficult for rafayel, or dare to tread where he didn't belong. at the same time... some selfish part of him still doesn't quite want to give up. ]
That's not to say I don't realize your circumstances are different, or that I'm blind to the history you have with her. [ to say the least! even that feels like an understatement ] ... but I don't think that means this isn't real either.
That'd be enough for me.
[ he doesn't need to be first or to ask too much... but maybe he just doesn't want to be alone in acknowledging that there is a potential in whatever this is. ]
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but, i am also emotional at cute teen suzune doing everything she wanted and MORE!!! can you imagine her cute clothes and accessories too? where is our modern suzune art. ]
I'd hold onto all three if I could, but your arms looked more lonely than mine did.
[ ... ] Plus, you could say this octopus is going to be my god of victory? [ extreme, but okay. that said, he is already looking through the drink menu. naturally, his eyes focus on the melon yogurt drink, but to be honest... he kind of wants to choose something tobari will like.
... what does tobari like to eat? has he seen him eating in purgatory? maybe a sake? ]
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let rafayel have a yogurt drink... tobari probably erred toward sake or something like a japanese whisky highball... but he hilariously also doesn't mind japanese sweets because it's what suzune liked and he missed her in purgatory.
anyway, smugly: ]
You're going to need all the luck you can get.
[ if he gets to choose the game he will be intentional and mean about it and see if he can find something raf is bad at because tobari doesn't want to do a dare. the difference in these approaches is killing me ]
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while tobari didn't necessarily seem to mind sweets, especially on the occasions in which they'd share them together on the couch with suzune, and sometimes even thomas— rafayel still can't help the part of him that wants to dote on tobari a little. he ends up ordering a highball, but with a hint of raspberry and honey.
with the drink now in hand, he holds it up to tobari's lips to try and give him the first sip. ... maybe being a little inebriated would also suit his purposes in trying to win that dare. ] Luck? I'd argue it's aaaaall skill though? [ he hasn't played half these games...
but, also... rafayel isn't against cheating to get what he wants. ]
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tobari has handed off two out of three of their plush children over to the bartender now, who was probably over enthusiastically giving dating advice. tobari finds this funnier than anything else but once the actual drink has been made, he’ll excuse himself to give raf his attention.
hilariously he is a heavyweight and also leans in to let raf offer him the drink like he’s used to it, like an asshole. the taste is a welcome one, and he makes a pleased noise in the back of his throat when he pulls back and licks his lips. ]
Good choice. [ but right back to trash talk ] But sure, why don’t you show me what you’ve got?
[ tobari is pointing at a shooter game with two players
he has never played it but he’s like. a gun is a gun? and he didn’t use his often in purgatory but if there’s anything he’s confident in, it’s his aim. he does not know he is subject to the whims of rng and apparently foul play ]
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rafayel does end up tilting his head from afar, as if trying to ask what his association was with them, and the depth of it. he supposed that was a question for later. he shouldn't be too surprised that tobari was fairly proficient in creating bonds; whether it be purgatory or here. though, the thought does linger on his brain for a bit, before he ends up focusing on the way that tobari really does take such a practiced sip of their drink. a reminder for him to make a fuss of that in the future.
for now, he also uses his finger to touch the corner of tobari's lip. so softly that it may have not actually made contact at all. as quickly as it comes, rafayel turns back to the screen. he takes one large gulp of the drink before setting it down on the counter closest to the game. ]
Anyone can use a gun. You do know that, right? [ sorry miss bodyguard.
but, also sorry that rafayel is getting his dare. ]
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there's so much to make a fuss about—but apparently it all serves to get rafayel a near perfect score at the game while tobari does hilariously bad. he's startled at just how different the calibration is between this fake gun and a real gun, so that's about what he gets for trying to rig it so heavily in his favor. the overconfidence... ]
... huh.
[ he's impressed but also baffled ]
Guess I deserved that.
[ even if he will figure out a way to get revenge later in a much worse fashion......... he really gave raf a fair chance to get this dare and he got it!!!!
as if to brace himself against whatever the dare is going to be, tobari is going to pick up their shared drink and take another swig of it. wash down the taste of defeat, loser ]
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being competitive by nature, it's easy to see the way in which rafayel's body language immediately shifts into something a little more proud. considering he just destroyed tobari, there's an easygoing grin that makes its way on his face, especially as he nudges him a little with his forearm. ]
Weren't you like suuuuper confident just now?
[ but, he does feel a little bad when his eyes go back to the screen and then back at tobari's face. just a little.
though, that doesn't mean he isn't about to pull his phone from his back pocket and start adding furry kittens and a headband into the cart for same day delivery. these two concepts are not mutually exclusive. who knew. ]
Don't worry, I can't cash in immediately. [ turning the screen back to tobari so he can see what he ordered... ]
[1/2]
tobari at least isn't a sore loser—if anything, it's been a long time since he's been humbled so entirely so he's more amused than anything. the pride from rafayel just makes him roll his eyes good-naturedly ]
Maybe it'll make my comeback more satisfying.
[ for some reason he's convinced he'll win in the future
but at the INSANE CART CHOICE, HE'LL SHOOT THE MOST ANNOYED LOOK IN THE WORLD AT RAFAYEL. THE DARE IS SO MUCH WORSE THAN THE DEFEAT. HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THIS IS FOR. ]
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Are you trying to make me into a pet? Do you want to get bit so badly?
[ he's lashing out ]
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the fact that tobari can brush it off probably speaks volumes to what kind of person he is, and rafayel can't help but find that part of him just as alluring. you know, even if he's absolutely going to make him do a little cat dance while wearing furry mittens and a headband.
actually, he thinks he should have also added a cute collar with a bell too... but, he holds back. at least that much.
do you want to know who isn't holding back, though???? tobari????
when rafayel's face gets snatched up, he does blink at tobari a few times. the abashment ends up settling in a few seconds too late as his ears flush. he can feel himself struggling to keep it together, and yet he still tries to push through. he tempers his own expression and the erratic beating of his heart. ]
... Dunno, you seem like a bad pet already. [ going to reach out and try and touch tobari's cheek. ]
I mean, you won't even let me touch you. [ since he hates lads head pats... ]
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rafayel's not wrong, though. tobari would make a horrible pet. terribly independent and prone to withholding his affections just because—and then delivering them like this, as a surprise, just to make problems. his own expression turns mischievous, the curve of his mouth lifting as if to invite challenge. rafayel can touch his cheek, and he'll tilt his head just ever so slightly to meet his touch. ]
Won't I?
[ his voice lowers as if offering a promise ]
Pretty sure I said if you had better ideas, I'd let you. Surely you can think of something if you want me so badly.
[ he didn't need to say it like that... well rafayel told him not to hold back on this date and tobari's not afraid of being bold
even if whether rafayel would act on those wants is the real question here, tobari thinks. ]
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he makes a show of clearing his throat, albeit awkwardly. ] Badly? You might need to get your eyes checked. Last I recall, you also... [ his hand gently feels tobari's cheek, and then gently reaches to touch the lobe of his ears, then the tip of it, before he drops his hand. ]
Anyway, do you really want to do this in front of your friend there? You looked close. [ he's mostly teasing. but, maybe he's also just petty enough to bring this up here, yeah. ]
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speaking of close, tobari smiles before he leans in impossibly closer, lips just a few scant centimeters away from rafayel's. ]
I don't mind. Isn't it better for everyone to know who I came here with? That you're the one I want to be closest to.
[ rudely appeals to rafayel's cagefish tendencies on purpose.
but he'll finish playing soon after, finally letting go of rafayel and stepping back to give him room to breathe. ]
Well, you're not wrong I'd rather keep some things private. [ goes back to just catching rafayel's hand in his own. safer? ] I think there's some drink left. You wanna finish it off before we go?
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unfortunately, tobari is right. the words do appeal to him. had they been in private, and had he been entering ebb day, he may not have been able to control his scales from peeking up the side of his neck as a sign of delight. as it stands, he's glad he can retain that shred of self-control.
as for his dignity? that may have been lost cause from the start. ]
Correction, I should be the only one.
[ the only one he's close with at all. at least, in terms of this type of relationship. though, he refuses to clarify on that point, even internally. he decides to pack that away alongside any other emotion he may have felt. so it's as relief when tobari gives him that space to.
even if rafayel grasps his hand like it's a life line. what is the truth... ]
I'll drink. [ he leans in, as if telling tobari to hold it up to him. this is also still very spoiled behavior. ]
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as is, he raises a brow at the correction—in the same breath, he lets rafayel retreat. tobari wouldn't mind that, but isn't this date just part of showing that he's serious about his intentions? it's just up to rafayel if he wants to keep playing along with it or not. ]
Pretty sure that's up to you, Raf.
[ if he wants all of tobari's attention, then he can have it
though all signs currently point to yes... they are just ending up more of a mess. despite this, tobari rolls his eyes with too much fondness, reaching for the glass that has just enough for one more satisfying gulp in it and lifting it to rafayel's mouth easily. tobari never entertained guests himself in the red light district, but the motions come familiarly to him nonetheless. ]
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except, maybe fiction in this case is more frightening than reality, because the cat dance could be perceived as worse? at any rate, he can't help but feel a little anxious at tobari's words.
"that's up to you."
he never thought there'd be a day where that shred of what could be perceived as freedom felt so much... heavier than anything else. he's sure this is tobari's way of saying that he could dictate the pace and intensity of their relationship, but the answer still isn't entirely obvious to him. in the end, it's a decision he defers for now, instead putting his lips to the brim of the cup as he drinks down the last of their drink. ] You really know what I want.
[ the drink, he means.
but, he guesses that could be misleading. kind of like how he's already pressing his shoulder up against tobari's. he is feeling a little buzzed now, admittedly. though... if he's being honest, he also just wants to be closer to tobari. even if he feels like he may change his mind as soon as tomorrow. ]
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it's funny because tobari doesn't know what rafayel wants at all. realistically, he's pretty sure he wants to be with that woman—but tobari has spent his time watching to see if the feeling was mutual. it's always been his opinion that if you're not wanted back, you should move on.
which is what led them here—because tobari can survive rafayel wanting someone else so long as he wants tobari too... but does he? or is this just for fun? is it just a result of tobari knowing a little too well how to be a good date and how to keep someone occupied? maybe it's his fault for muddling things between that line of love and lust—
maybe they really will be heterosexual housemates. or maybe tobari will be the one who has to move on... but the night is still young and they'll have forever to talk about that, won't they? so he puts it off too. in the end, he's just selfish enough to want to enjoy this even if some part of him is wondering if one night is all he's gonna get.
so he takes rafayel's weight when he comes in closer, laughing faintly as his fingers comes up to gently brush against his cheek. he'll let go of rafayel's hand, but only so that he can instead steady him with gentle pressure at the small of his back ]
You really can't hold your liquor, huh? I'll have to cut you off here.
Come on. Let's get some actual dinner.
[ and then he'll guide raf out of the barcade.... they can bring their octopus plush son with them. tobari will pick up the other toys tomorrow to bring them home ]
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for as simple as the solutions to life's most difficult problems tended to be, rafayel was prone to overthinking. even now, his brain is in a constant state of overdrive. he can't help but to read into every single one of tobari's words. or even his touch, like now. when he feels his hand against his back, he can already feel his body heating up, and he feels a bit like he did back in purgatory in that hotel lobby.
except... this time, he isn't under some curse.
he clears his throat a little, as if to feign retaining some sort of control over himself. ] Excuse you, I hold it just fine. You just happen to gulp it down like you're a fish. That's not my fault. [ but, he does allow himself to be lead out, even if he does hold the octopus a little higher as if to block his face. ]
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Ah, they'd always goad me into drinking with them at the district, even if I was working. Worked to build my tolerance fast, if nothing else.
[ but it's still endearing that just this much was enough to get raf tipsy... ]
Well, don't get too caught up on your weird dare. You still have two more scrolls to cash in if you want to.
[ a secret and a question... he'll try to help with a topic change even if he's not sure what's got rafayel embarrassed this time... ]
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that said, it's hard for rafayel not to feel like itehari was a place that didn't agree with his own sensibilities. making tobari drink like that at a young age on top of all his other hardships... suzune's too. it just didn't sit well with him. ... and yet, he knows how precious of a place it was to tobari. so he swallows those thoughts. ]
Then, can I ask you a question?
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[ but! that's not as fun to talk about. tobari is overly familiar with too many things that others would find upsetting or perhaps too mature, but that's all he's ever known. they live fast and die young, and it's hard to say they even do it well.
so he instead allows himself to just go with the topic change: ]
Ah. Go ahead.
[ he has no idea what raf might want to ask him at all ]
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... which, is still a strange concept for him to swallow, and yet when they walk together like this, it doesn't feel unnatural in the slightest.
maybe that's why he ends up asking the question he does. ]
Do you think we could always be like this...? [ it's not exactly the question he's actually thinking of at all, and yet they're the words that flow into him at the moment. he wonders if tobari could picture them together like this? would they have a different relationship in time?
he can't help but wonder if tobari really wants him, or if this may just be a fleeting passion for the one person who just couldn't let him go. ]
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tobari tilts head, not bothering to hide his confusion. ]
Yeah?
[ said like… duh?
though that sounds more dismissive than he intended… but that must mean his sentiments haven’t come through clearly enough, huh? ]
I guess I haven’t been direct enough if you’re still asking. That’s my bad. [ so might as well make it clearer? they stop at a street corner, waiting for the walk signal, and tobari moves his hand from rafayel’s back to instead reach for his hand instead. he brings it up so that he can brush a kiss against the back of his knuckles. light but undeniable. ] I think we could be. I think it’d be easy. Easier than I ever expected.
[ to choose rafayel. to be with him and to let more of his attention be centered on one person’s happiness than all the world’s benefit. ]
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admittedly, he is slightly intoxicated, and it probably shows in the almost languid way he tilts his head. but, before he struggles to ask for clarification, tobari ends up beating him to the punch. the kiss on the back of his hand isn't necessarily sudden, but it stops his heart in a similar way. he isn't sure if it's just shock though that gets his heart rate rising.
he's trying not to show his embarrassment, or the fact that he feels... both touched, and a little sorry. he falls silent, before he turns his head away, trying his best not to make eye contact. to be honest, he feels like it'd be over if he did.
but, contrary to the way he might have been setting himself up to keep their relationship ambiguous, he does end up squeezing down on tobari's fingers. he slides his palm over tobari's and gives it a final squeeze before drawing away. in this moment he's thankful to the alcohol in which he can blame his flushed cheeks on. ]
You're strangely optimistic about this. [ ... ]
If that was soooo obvious, can I ask you another? [ he doesn't wait for a response. ] Do you believe in a second love?
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I don't know if I'd call it optimism. I don't actually expect you to say yes. I was just answering your question.
[ if he's being honest? and tobari is prone to honesty, at least when it comes to matters like this. his tempered expectations of rafayel's answer don't change the fact that the actual act of being together feels easy... even if the steps that it'd take to get there might still require more time. if this was a test, a temperature check, of how the rest of their time together could be... tobari doesn't think even rafayel can deny that it comes almost as easily as breathing. for better or worse.
rafayel pulls his hand away, but tobari is still overly cautious when he's a bit tipsy. his hand hovers at rafayel's back again, though his touch is lighter now. ]
... but I do. I don't think you get to choose who you fall for.
[ tobari should know—again, he feels like he's reaching for someone who's entirely out of the question for him. he waited months because he didn't want to make things more difficult for rafayel, or dare to tread where he didn't belong. at the same time... some selfish part of him still doesn't quite want to give up. ]
That's not to say I don't realize your circumstances are different, or that I'm blind to the history you have with her. [ to say the least! even that feels like an understatement ] ... but I don't think that means this isn't real either.
That'd be enough for me.
[ he doesn't need to be first or to ask too much... but maybe he just doesn't want to be alone in acknowledging that there is a potential in whatever this is. ]
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