glub | ( 🍓🧀 )

I didn't agree to that. Not all the conditions were met.

[ he says this as if he were speaking as an artful negotiator as opposed to a petty lover. in spite of his words, he does fall silent for a moment, before nodding his head even if tobari can't see him from this distance. ]

I'm the same as always. You know, minus the fact I was abandoned, left behind, and just forgotten for the night. [ he says this lightheartedly though, and not in a way in which indicates any actual irritation. probably. ]

[ it'd take five minutes to hop in the shower. wash away the last of the evidence before rafayel even knows something is amiss. then tobari could head down to the beach and find rafayel probably when he's on his way back—what's five minutes? tobari could even bring the phone into the bathroom and put it on speaker if he really doesn't want to leave raf alone for even a second.

.........................................

he says it like a joke, but tobari's already sighing and heading for the beach. he'll think of a lie to explain the smoke later. ]

I'm coming down. Did you wander far?

[ honestly, he doesn’t expect tobari to drop what he’s doing. if anything, he’s in a mood where he may not be expecting anything, just allowing the subtle sounds from the ocean pull him into some temporary trance. though, tobari’s words temporarily breaks him from that and he can’t help but to feel a deep swell of emotions.

he isn’t used to having someone worry for him like this. maybe that’s not true, but talia’s chiding felt different than tobari’s affections, or even his own passions. he turns to look back at where the balcony is and he gives a small wave of his hand. ]

You can’t see me? Weird. Maybe that’s something for you to think about. If you came earlier in the day, for example…?

[ in spite of his words, he’s already wading in the waters closer to the direction of the home. their home. ]

[ rafayel doesn’t expect anything and yet tobari would later think the real tell that something is wrong would be if he didn’t drop everything the second he thought something might be wrong…

but he makes the journey to the beach anyway, keeping the phone against his ear even as he strains his eyes against the darkness to find him. he’ll leave his boots at the door so he can also just wander out to the sand. ]

Why do I bother to give you the heads up if you’re going to complain anyway…

[ but he’ll eventually wander out toward the figure in the darkness that he assumes is his annoying lover. he’ll stay on the line even as he approaches, as if holding onto that connection to the last moment. ]

Couldn’t sleep?

[ the smell of sea water is distinct for rafayel, not unlike when people travel afar, only to return to the comforting scent of their own homes. the brine of sea water, the clear cut smell of nearly odorless saltwater and all the microorganisms within it. maybe that’s why he can already smell a bit of the smoke that lingers on tobari. it’s different than the smell of cigarettes, but he also doesn’t jump into that right away.

instead, he’s more comforted at just having him close. enough where he can cast that aside for now. instead— ] Is there anyone who wouldn’t complain? It’s past three, you know. As far as I know, in some households…

[ he also stays in the phone, like it’s a lifeline. ]

Yeah, I just thought if I went to sleep now I might have a bad dream.

[ given how attuned rafayel is to a general sense of smell, tobari had no illusions about being able to hide the smoke from him—but if he's not commenting on it, then tobari isn't going to volunteer the information either. it's more of a thought pushed to the backburner now as he gets closer, the vague shape of rafayel becoming clearer as he takes in the sight of him.

even if he's still concerned, he is also fond. he's not immune to relaxing at the welcome sight of his boyfriend after a long day. ]

I used to be out later than this before you... [ tobari just adjusted his schedule to at least make it back for dinner every night, even if it meant taking work home or sometimes needing to leave again anyway.

it's a half-hearted argument though. his free hand reaches out to take rafayel's once they're within touching distance and only then does he finally hang up. ]

... then we can walk it out until those worries disappear.

[ the statement gets a soft hum of consideration. ]

Then it's all thanks to me your body is getting the rest it needs. [ he says smoothly, even knowing that probably isn't the case. tobari was relatively good at keeping busy, enough where rafayel wonders how he manages to fit as much as he does in a day. while he loses track of hours while painting, the sounds of the front door almost acted like a timer. ... and a careful reminder to mind his meals.

he appreciates tobari for being around, and maybe that's also why addressing everything else seemed to fall to the waste side. when he feels the warmth of tobari's fingers against the chill ocean breeze, he also pockets his phone.

he leans in just enough to lean his chin on tobari's shoulder. ]

Buuuut you're tired, aren't you?

[ it's true and isn't true. tobari doesn't get nearly enough sleep, even though he's good about remembering to eat, but even as busy as he keeps... he does enjoying taking at least an hour, if not more, with rafayel when he can. even if tobari is a busybody who can't really avoid picking up more work, it doesn't change where he wants to be.

hence why he'll let rafayel lean on him easily, huffing out an amused breath. he'll take their hands and bring them up so he can press a kiss to the back of rafayel's cold hand. ]

I'd guess you're more tired than I am. [ a walk along the beach at night actually sounds nice... his free hand comes up to card through rafayel's hair, just to keep him close ] We can keep walking, or you can come in with me to take a shower. Your choice.

[ rafayel feels an odd swell of emotions when tobari places a kiss on the back of his hand. he feels both affection and a weird sense of longing in equal measure. as if their current proximity wasn't nearly enough to satisfy him. ... and maybe because it's not?

he can't help missing his boyfriend. it's enough where sometimes he marvels at the concept of how the world continued to turn before he met him?

maybe that's why rafayel can't help but wonder when his past would finally catch up with him. or when all the secrets he's been harboring will finally come to light. ... and in the same vein, he wonders if there are things he doesn't know about tobari.

the thoughts jumble in his mind even as he answers steadily. ] Aren't you being a bit obvious by asking me to come shower with you? [ but, he does laugh just a little. ] Let's take our time walking back.

[ a good middle ground. ]

I’m being generous with my invitation.

[ but also maybe it is a bit obvious—he’s not entirely sure what kind of mood rafayel is in, but tobari can at least be upfront about wanting to look after him. it doesn’t matter that he just came from a literal burning building; even if he’ll still try to do everything and hold onto everyone who might need his help, it doesn’t change that he’s perfectly aware of what and who he holds dearest.

so he’ll briefly press a kiss to rafayel’s hair, waiting for him to straighten up enough to resume the walk. it’s fine to wait for his initiative… ]

It’s nice out here anyway.

[ he’s absolutely become something of a beach bum himself since coming to live with raf, in the rare moments he has a break anyway ]

Soooo generous. [ he says in that same teasing tone as always. he falls back on it like it's a habit, and it's easy for him to also lean in and rub his head a little from side to side, like he's an affectionate (cursed word) cat.

that said, he does end up respecting the distance enough so they can continue walking. he'll also regain his composure because he still does get a little embarrassed showing this side of him. though, it does seem to meld into something a little more thoughtful... he still feels happy to hear the sea gets tobari's seal of approval. ]

How about you tell me about your day?

[ not the cursed word cat

tobari will just huff out an amused breath at the little nuzzle anyway, intertwining their fingers even as rafayel pulls back enough for them to walk. his day… ]

Do I have to? [ he’s always so damn busy he gets tired reliving it all even without the terrorism. but he’s not sure if raf wants to talk about his feelings yet so he’ll offer this much, ] Stressful, in both good and bad ways.

There was prep for a fundraising event that’s coming up… but there were a few emergencies too. [ he squeezes rafayel’s hand. just by nature of working with pretty vulnerable populations, tobari is pretty sure he sees the worst of humanity and so rarely gets into the details of it all ] But we dealt with them, so everyone should be alright now.

[ none of this explains the smoke. it’s fine. ]

[ for a moment, rafayel doesn't move. at least not until tobari's mouth also begins moving along with his feet. (insert foot emoji) when he does, he falls back in light, swinging their arms just a little as he walks and listens. ]

The fundraising event... You sure you didn't need my help for that? [ he tilts his head slightly. it wouldn't be wrong to say that rafayel did try to squeeze himself into tobari's life whenever he could. listen, if in another world and timeline he follows mc to her work trips, and simultaneously solves her work problems, who is to say rafayel isn't employing the same techniques on tobari. ]

... Dealt with. You know that sounds ominous, right?

[ tobari, already seeing how rafayel is going to try to squeeze himself into this: ] … I’m only advising for it, but if you want me to ask the coordinator if she needs hands, I will.

[ even tho tobari is advising he will in fact be involved in every part of the process just as moral and labor support but still. him like should i call thomas to see if raf even has room in his schedule for this? ]

Is there another word for resolving an emergency? It’s ominous that it even happened.

[ just an annoyed grumble. maybe if tobari stopped trying to solve every problem in the world he would encounter less problems much to think about ]

[ would you betray him by calling thomas like that... ]

Yeah, it doesn't hurt to ask. I'd hate to over-step. [ he's not actually thinking about this at all. but, he can at least pretend. ]

You could have slipped a pun in there? Like, "I "fin-ally" figured it out, or I "turtle-y" got that covered? [ do you hate him yet, tobari... that said, he does look at tobari from his peripherals, already giving him a small smile.

he knows tobari tends to take on a lot. he guesses it may also be the fact that he also had good instincts and a lot of care to give, and so he had the penchant for getting overly involved in things. while it's not a bad trait, at times like this, rafayel thinks it'd be nice for tobari to take it easy. (he says while contributing to half those problems). ]

[ is it betrayal or just trying to keep the peace because tobari being overly involved also means he worries about thomas's blood pressure. he has a wife and a child apparently? tobari doesn't want him to collapse? ]

... well it's nice of you to pretend. [ TOBARI KNOWS RAF DOESN'T MEAN IT. but it's fine, because tobari is normally fine with rafayel helping out as long as it doesn't actually hurt his schedule anywhere...

anyway he ignores the puns. he just doesn't even acknowledge them. ]

And what happened in your day? Someone cause you trouble?

[ thinks about the doberman bf tweet where tobari isn't even nice to rafayel all the time but if anyone else actually caused issues for him then tobari would probably want to twist them into a pretzel ]

[ that is valid, but also none of rafayel's concern.

jk, he does care below the layers of him dogging on him. if there was anyone who was akin to family to him on the surface, maybe he'd also factor into that equation next to his aunt talia. as for tobari... ]

Just the usual paparazzi. You know, it's not always easy heading to venues where everyone knows I frequent. [ but, he says it with a shrug like it's not anything out of the norm. in a way, it isn't. just today went down a little differently. ]

Are you that worried about me?

[ rafayel........

tobari just makes a vague noise of acknowledgement. he also hates paparazzi on principle, so that's fair. ]

Don't ask dumb questions. Of course I am.

[ there's no reason to hide it! ]

You say that, but...

[ he looks back to tobari for second.

speaking of hiding things. ]

Shouldn't I be more worried about you? I don't mind you having your own secrets, but you'd tell me if you needed help, right?

[ it might be a little telling the way that tobari pauses to consider the answer. whenever rafayel implies he might need help, then tobari's instant response is that he'll do whatever he can to take something off his plate. the reverse...

well, it would feel worse if he agreed immediately and lied about it. so he tries to put thought into what he says. the conclusion he comes to is: ]

... yeah. If I thought I was in over my head, I'd tell you.

[ because he wouldn't want to risk something of rafayel finding out the hard way or getting caught off-guard. he brings their hands up again just to brush his lips over the back of raf's knuckles. ]

But I'm fine.

[ that's a pretty extreme threshold, he thinks.

but in spite of realizing all of that, there is a secondary emotion in which he kind of understands where he's coming from. which really does make him reflect on when, or if he plans to let tobari know about his own dealings. at the same time, he knows tobari might see or hear things on the news in which could tangentially be related to him.

it's why he remains silent. only breaking out of his state when he feels tobari kiss the back of his knuckles. it tickles a little, and rafayel smiles as he also leans in and presses a kiss to the side of tobari's cheek. ]

You make it hard to keep pressing you.

[ it's a little on purpose.

tobari doesn't think that this is big enough to be worth constructing an elaborate lie over. at the same time, he's not giving up information all too easily because he also doesn't think it matters enough as a one-time occurrence to bother rafayel with.

when the kiss on the cheek comes, he sighs slightly—even if the emotion behind it is hard to place. ]

... as long as you know it's not because I don't trust you.

[ if rafayel kept asking, tobari's not sure how much he'd be able to hide. but it's why he's grateful he doesn't. ]

I know that.

[ if tobari didn't trust him, then who could he trust... would be more of rafayel's concern. you know, aside from the pettier line of consideration that most definitely didn't cross his mind or anything. he releases a soft exhale before he re-adjusts his grip to hold onto tobari's wrist.

almost as if he's going to lead him home. ]

Same to you. If there's anything you don't know about me, you can always ask. Even if I'm not ready to answer you yet, I know I'll be able to tell you everything eventually. [ when he feels like tobari is in deep enough where it'd be harder for him to leave...

which may have been unfair on his part to think, but as scared as he is about laying out all his cards and being perceived as some monster...

he also has the burning desire to be accepted by tobari, anyway. ]

[ tobari glances down when rafayel readjusts the hold of their hands, but otherwise doesn't correct it or comment. for now, he'll let him do as he pleases as he still tries to place what could've unsettled him enough for this...

still, he doesn't think it'd be fair for him to turn around and press rafayel either. even then, if he gets to be really, truly honest for once... ]

... I want to know everything about you.

[ and tobari doesn't admit to wanting things very often. ]

I won't rush or force you. As long as you know I'm here, waiting, then that's fine. I won't go anywhere, so you can take your time... but don't carry something alone when you don't have to.

[ he's such a hypocrite.

but even in his hypocrisy, he can't help his sincerity. ]

[ the desire tobari has to get to truly know him is appreciated, even if he doesn't always show it.

he knows they're both elusive at times; always within reach, and yet distant in more subtle, nearly indiscernable in some ways. despite years of thinking no one would ever fully understand him, he wonders if sometimes tobari becomes frighteningly close to making him feel like he could.

it makes him feel a bit softer, and he can't help but smile even with his head turned away. it might be hypocrisy, but he still feels like it's some sort of lifeline. in the cruel world of the deep sea where they operated by survival of the fittesdt— sometimes that's all someone needed. ]

Actually, do you think I could ask you for a favor sometime? [ ... could he start allowing him into his world just a little? ] It's kind of related. Or maybe not. [ still, he doesn't really wait for an answer as he's already quickening his pace, pulling tobari just slightly. ]

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