( 🍓🧀 )

[ rafayel feels an odd swell of emotions when tobari places a kiss on the back of his hand. he feels both affection and a weird sense of longing in equal measure. as if their current proximity wasn't nearly enough to satisfy him. ... and maybe because it's not?

he can't help missing his boyfriend. it's enough where sometimes he marvels at the concept of how the world continued to turn before he met him?

maybe that's why rafayel can't help but wonder when his past would finally catch up with him. or when all the secrets he's been harboring will finally come to light. ... and in the same vein, he wonders if there are things he doesn't know about tobari.

the thoughts jumble in his mind even as he answers steadily. ] Aren't you being a bit obvious by asking me to come shower with you? [ but, he does laugh just a little. ] Let's take our time walking back.

[ a good middle ground. ]

I’m being generous with my invitation.

[ but also maybe it is a bit obvious—he’s not entirely sure what kind of mood rafayel is in, but tobari can at least be upfront about wanting to look after him. it doesn’t matter that he just came from a literal burning building; even if he’ll still try to do everything and hold onto everyone who might need his help, it doesn’t change that he’s perfectly aware of what and who he holds dearest.

so he’ll briefly press a kiss to rafayel’s hair, waiting for him to straighten up enough to resume the walk. it’s fine to wait for his initiative… ]

It’s nice out here anyway.

[ he’s absolutely become something of a beach bum himself since coming to live with raf, in the rare moments he has a break anyway ]

Soooo generous. [ he says in that same teasing tone as always. he falls back on it like it's a habit, and it's easy for him to also lean in and rub his head a little from side to side, like he's an affectionate (cursed word) cat.

that said, he does end up respecting the distance enough so they can continue walking. he'll also regain his composure because he still does get a little embarrassed showing this side of him. though, it does seem to meld into something a little more thoughtful... he still feels happy to hear the sea gets tobari's seal of approval. ]

How about you tell me about your day?

[ not the cursed word cat

tobari will just huff out an amused breath at the little nuzzle anyway, intertwining their fingers even as rafayel pulls back enough for them to walk. his day… ]

Do I have to? [ he’s always so damn busy he gets tired reliving it all even without the terrorism. but he’s not sure if raf wants to talk about his feelings yet so he’ll offer this much, ] Stressful, in both good and bad ways.

There was prep for a fundraising event that’s coming up… but there were a few emergencies too. [ he squeezes rafayel’s hand. just by nature of working with pretty vulnerable populations, tobari is pretty sure he sees the worst of humanity and so rarely gets into the details of it all ] But we dealt with them, so everyone should be alright now.

[ none of this explains the smoke. it’s fine. ]

[ for a moment, rafayel doesn't move. at least not until tobari's mouth also begins moving along with his feet. (insert foot emoji) when he does, he falls back in light, swinging their arms just a little as he walks and listens. ]

The fundraising event... You sure you didn't need my help for that? [ he tilts his head slightly. it wouldn't be wrong to say that rafayel did try to squeeze himself into tobari's life whenever he could. listen, if in another world and timeline he follows mc to her work trips, and simultaneously solves her work problems, who is to say rafayel isn't employing the same techniques on tobari. ]

... Dealt with. You know that sounds ominous, right?

[ tobari, already seeing how rafayel is going to try to squeeze himself into this: ] … I’m only advising for it, but if you want me to ask the coordinator if she needs hands, I will.

[ even tho tobari is advising he will in fact be involved in every part of the process just as moral and labor support but still. him like should i call thomas to see if raf even has room in his schedule for this? ]

Is there another word for resolving an emergency? It’s ominous that it even happened.

[ just an annoyed grumble. maybe if tobari stopped trying to solve every problem in the world he would encounter less problems much to think about ]

[ would you betray him by calling thomas like that... ]

Yeah, it doesn't hurt to ask. I'd hate to over-step. [ he's not actually thinking about this at all. but, he can at least pretend. ]

You could have slipped a pun in there? Like, "I "fin-ally" figured it out, or I "turtle-y" got that covered? [ do you hate him yet, tobari... that said, he does look at tobari from his peripherals, already giving him a small smile.

he knows tobari tends to take on a lot. he guesses it may also be the fact that he also had good instincts and a lot of care to give, and so he had the penchant for getting overly involved in things. while it's not a bad trait, at times like this, rafayel thinks it'd be nice for tobari to take it easy. (he says while contributing to half those problems). ]

[ is it betrayal or just trying to keep the peace because tobari being overly involved also means he worries about thomas's blood pressure. he has a wife and a child apparently? tobari doesn't want him to collapse? ]

... well it's nice of you to pretend. [ TOBARI KNOWS RAF DOESN'T MEAN IT. but it's fine, because tobari is normally fine with rafayel helping out as long as it doesn't actually hurt his schedule anywhere...

anyway he ignores the puns. he just doesn't even acknowledge them. ]

And what happened in your day? Someone cause you trouble?

[ thinks about the doberman bf tweet where tobari isn't even nice to rafayel all the time but if anyone else actually caused issues for him then tobari would probably want to twist them into a pretzel ]

[ that is valid, but also none of rafayel's concern.

jk, he does care below the layers of him dogging on him. if there was anyone who was akin to family to him on the surface, maybe he'd also factor into that equation next to his aunt talia. as for tobari... ]

Just the usual paparazzi. You know, it's not always easy heading to venues where everyone knows I frequent. [ but, he says it with a shrug like it's not anything out of the norm. in a way, it isn't. just today went down a little differently. ]

Are you that worried about me?

[ rafayel........

tobari just makes a vague noise of acknowledgement. he also hates paparazzi on principle, so that's fair. ]

Don't ask dumb questions. Of course I am.

[ there's no reason to hide it! ]

You say that, but...

[ he looks back to tobari for second.

speaking of hiding things. ]

Shouldn't I be more worried about you? I don't mind you having your own secrets, but you'd tell me if you needed help, right?

[ it might be a little telling the way that tobari pauses to consider the answer. whenever rafayel implies he might need help, then tobari's instant response is that he'll do whatever he can to take something off his plate. the reverse...

well, it would feel worse if he agreed immediately and lied about it. so he tries to put thought into what he says. the conclusion he comes to is: ]

... yeah. If I thought I was in over my head, I'd tell you.

[ because he wouldn't want to risk something of rafayel finding out the hard way or getting caught off-guard. he brings their hands up again just to brush his lips over the back of raf's knuckles. ]

But I'm fine.

[ that's a pretty extreme threshold, he thinks.

but in spite of realizing all of that, there is a secondary emotion in which he kind of understands where he's coming from. which really does make him reflect on when, or if he plans to let tobari know about his own dealings. at the same time, he knows tobari might see or hear things on the news in which could tangentially be related to him.

it's why he remains silent. only breaking out of his state when he feels tobari kiss the back of his knuckles. it tickles a little, and rafayel smiles as he also leans in and presses a kiss to the side of tobari's cheek. ]

You make it hard to keep pressing you.

[ it's a little on purpose.

tobari doesn't think that this is big enough to be worth constructing an elaborate lie over. at the same time, he's not giving up information all too easily because he also doesn't think it matters enough as a one-time occurrence to bother rafayel with.

when the kiss on the cheek comes, he sighs slightly—even if the emotion behind it is hard to place. ]

... as long as you know it's not because I don't trust you.

[ if rafayel kept asking, tobari's not sure how much he'd be able to hide. but it's why he's grateful he doesn't. ]

I know that.

[ if tobari didn't trust him, then who could he trust... would be more of rafayel's concern. you know, aside from the pettier line of consideration that most definitely didn't cross his mind or anything. he releases a soft exhale before he re-adjusts his grip to hold onto tobari's wrist.

almost as if he's going to lead him home. ]

Same to you. If there's anything you don't know about me, you can always ask. Even if I'm not ready to answer you yet, I know I'll be able to tell you everything eventually. [ when he feels like tobari is in deep enough where it'd be harder for him to leave...

which may have been unfair on his part to think, but as scared as he is about laying out all his cards and being perceived as some monster...

he also has the burning desire to be accepted by tobari, anyway. ]

[ tobari glances down when rafayel readjusts the hold of their hands, but otherwise doesn't correct it or comment. for now, he'll let him do as he pleases as he still tries to place what could've unsettled him enough for this...

still, he doesn't think it'd be fair for him to turn around and press rafayel either. even then, if he gets to be really, truly honest for once... ]

... I want to know everything about you.

[ and tobari doesn't admit to wanting things very often. ]

I won't rush or force you. As long as you know I'm here, waiting, then that's fine. I won't go anywhere, so you can take your time... but don't carry something alone when you don't have to.

[ he's such a hypocrite.

but even in his hypocrisy, he can't help his sincerity. ]

[ the desire tobari has to get to truly know him is appreciated, even if he doesn't always show it.

he knows they're both elusive at times; always within reach, and yet distant in more subtle, nearly indiscernable in some ways. despite years of thinking no one would ever fully understand him, he wonders if sometimes tobari becomes frighteningly close to making him feel like he could.

it makes him feel a bit softer, and he can't help but smile even with his head turned away. it might be hypocrisy, but he still feels like it's some sort of lifeline. in the cruel world of the deep sea where they operated by survival of the fittesdt— sometimes that's all someone needed. ]

Actually, do you think I could ask you for a favor sometime? [ ... could he start allowing him into his world just a little? ] It's kind of related. Or maybe not. [ still, he doesn't really wait for an answer as he's already quickening his pace, pulling tobari just slightly. ]

Yeah.

[ the same way that rafayel doesn't really wait for an answer, tobari doesn't wait to give him one. it's perhaps a little funny in comparison to tobari's reticence to even admit that he could need help earlier—how quickly he'll say yes to anything rafayel could possibly need from him. he'll match the increase in pace so he's not being dragged behind. ]

Whether it is or isn't... whatever you want, Raf.

[ tobari is so prone to bluster—to complaining about everything rafayel puts him through and to making things harder just to force his lover into putting extra effort instead of just whining to get his way.

but at the heart of it, it's always this.

for him? anything. everything. ]

Edited 2026-01-20 03:35 (UTC)

Then be my date for the next event I have. It's not for another month.

[ he doesn't say much else beyond that. he knows tobari despises the rich, probably just as much as he does. the only difference is... that rafayel put on pretenses, and as much as he utilizes his wealth to infiltrate their circles, they were not the same. to begin with...

how could he be? he wasn't human.

at one time, maybe that would have been another one of rafayel's concerns&mdaash; of being perceived as being just as rich and greedy as the rest of them. if tobari thought he was the same, but he figures tobari would judge him appropriately when the time actually comes. ]

It's in a town I used to live in. I attended school there.

... alright. [ he did say yes already. ] Just give me the date and I'll schedule around it.

[ so that he's not busy around that time... tobari does hate rich people. he hates the opulence, the arrogance, and the incessant feeling of hoarding. even still... it's not like he doesn't take advantage of the moments he does get dragged into the upper echelons of society. the work that he does needs donations and investments—and while he's never against rafayel's help, he also knows better than to get money too intertwined with his relationship.

so he can keep himself busy while rafayel also does what he needs. in most situations, he can even play nice enough to not start a fight. and if it's for rafayel, then that'll stay his hand every other time he wants to throw a punch.

he's not sure what this favor could entail but... well. doesn't matter. ]

I wouldn't mind seeing more about where you came from.

[ despite rafayel's own home being a mess of his own whims, he knows precisely what tobari finds displeasure in. it isn't just the hoarding of old paintings, or stacks of sketches... it's in the sheer excess of their wants. the apathy towards everyone and everything else in the face of their own desires, and rafayel could sincerely understand where he comes from. even in old lemurian texts, the thought of humans being callous and selfish was well-established. well-known, and because of that he gets it. but, he also does comprehend that tobari is good at what he does.

if he can also use them to leverage something better for the world? why not. while... he gets his revenge in the shadows. it's a thought he considers, before shaking his head. ] I also want to show you everything.

[ they've finally made it to the steps of the balcony, and he turns back to tobari. ] It is kind of close to Valentine's. [ ... ] We can make a whole trip of it. Your work won't mind me stealing you for a week, will it?

[ realistically, tobari can't really remember the last time he took an entire week off. though if he reframes it in his head, as long as he's able to secure some decent funding and make some worthwhile connections on this trip—maybe it'll balance out to a net zero. ]

... I'll figure that out. [ he can delegate like an insane person before they depart... ] Just know that leading up to the trip, I might be working on making sure everything's fine for me to leave for a little while.

[ but he'll communicate with rafayel the whole time. he knows he might still pout. he'll deal with that later too. ]

But—sure, we can have a couple's getaway. Is there anything else I should know to prepare for it?

[ just how fancy is it... how does he make sure rafayel doesn't try to pay for a new outfit for him ]

[ you think tobari has a choice when rafayel comes home with like ten options for him

sorry, when they were just speaking about rich people things. that said, he does end up giving a dutiful nod, even knowing he's sure to kick up a fuss about it later. ] Then... I'll be sure to pack a picture of me to take to work with you so you don't miss me too much. [ when they get to top of the stairs, he does end up opening his arms for a hug. ]

Since you'll be busy, shouldn't you leave the preparations to me?

Your picture's already in my wallet.

[ tobari wouldn't have volunteered this information if rafayel wasn't in enough of a mood to go wading out into the water at 3 am... but he can know... assumes that rafayel forced tobari's phone screen to be a picture of him but the wallet was entirely tobari's own doing.

he'll let his arms come up to loop around rafayel's neck for the hug, pulling him in close like that'll help ward off anymore of those worries about bad dreams. ]

If you spend a ridiculous amount of money on me, I'm going to plan all our dates for the next year and refuse to let you spend a dime.

[ raf has been warned. that's why tobari doesn't want to let him prepare. ]

[ their matching lock screens where they're both making a heart with their hands...

oh...

he falls a little silent at the admittance. it's not that he doubted the depth of tobari's feelings, but that it felt easy to feel like a lot sometimes. whether its the baggage he inevitably carries, or the intensity of his emotions. sometimes devotion could feel like a heavy thing, and so...

he can't help but find tobari all the more endearing and lovable to him in this moment. the arms around him make him feel secure somehow, and he finds himself also wrapping his arms around his waist. he gives him a tight squeeze. he wonders if his own heartbeat is obvious...? ]

Too bad. If you wanted an obedient boyfriend, it looks like you picked the wrong one. I don't do refunds either.

[ ... ] But, I will try not to go overboard.

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